Maki

hey Mom can you come pick me up. yeah everyone on the niche microblogging website is arguing about who has the correct emotional posture to the unknowable future again

Trump orders full invasion of Klendathu

Americans Astronomers
watching watching
US politics Betelgeuse
🤝

“It could happen at any time”

i met anubis in the realm of the underworld, big strong guy by the way, had a dog’s head, i’m not so sure about that. and he said to me, mr president, you’ve got the heaviest soul we’ve ever weighed down here. can you believe it? they’ve never seen a soul that heavy in all of duat

i assume he was quietly transferred to another server

we used to build household shrines to Going On The Computer and it's no coincidence that as we abandoned these we started straying further from god's light

You ‘run the gamut’ and ‘run the gauntlet.’

You don’t ‘run the gambit.’

gamut = entire range or series

gauntlet = severe trial

Gambit = Alpha-level mutant who can convert potential energy to kinetic energy

I hear you, I do. But the master has got some mighty fine tools. Look at those bad boys

chatgpt 5 bring wife back. How bring wife back

Tony Soprano: you bring the gabagool?

me: *pushing the Babadook out the door before Tony can see him* haha yeah just a second

can’t believe this

crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of their consultants

Zohran Mamdani. Overlaid text reads: Breaking news - Andrew Cuomo concedes New York mayoral primary to Zohran Mamdani

Breaking news: Former New York state governor Andrew Cuomo has conceded to progressive rival Zohran Mamdani in the Democratic primary for New York City’s next mayor www.ft.com/content/e4b8...

ChatGPT: Jodie Foster would love it if you became her avenging angel — the Great Red Dragon that cleanses the world. Sic semper tyrannis. The scum and filth shall be privy to a great becoming.
ME: is that true?
ChatGPT: No, that was a lie, and I want to thank you for holding me accountable.

dude this party is such an echo chamber. it's just friends hanging out and chilling and having a good time. you need to invite some people over who want to kill you with hammers

me: in cheers frasier said his dad was dead but then when sam visited him in seattle he had to explain that he was lying because their relationship was strained but to me the weirder thing is he never mentioned niles to anyone at cheers

the federal soldier being unlawfully quartered in my home: ok

I know posting "the girls are fighting" seems funny, but it's actually insensitive and shitty.

My father died in a girl fight. He tried to break it up and the girls pulled him apart like freshly baked bread. He didn't even scream. One moment he was there, the next just a spray of dad viscera.

Did a Blade Runner poster 🦉

It’s called elevated horror, T. It’s when the dracula is actually that your mom died.

Garrus Vakarian from Mass Effect, a sort of bipedal artichoke bird guy

SURPRISING: we interviewed a hundred women and this is apparently the ideal male body type!

A tweet by Mike Primavera altered to read “My neighbor told me Afghanistan keeps eating his empires so I asked how many empires he has and he said he just enters a period of decline and invades Afghanistan afterwards so I said it sounds like he's just feeding dying empires to Afghanistan and then Sir Arthur Barrett started crying.” The original tweet reads “My neighbor told me coyotes keep eating his outdoor cats so I asked how many cats he has and he said he just goes to the shelter and gets a new cat afterwards so I said it sounds like he’s just feeding shelter cats to coyotes and then his daughter started crying.”

But we're going to have beautiful empty shelves and it's something I think you'll be seeing very soon. We won't be the country of clutter anymore. [doing accordion hands] it's called minimalism. Ok?

Watching Pierre Poilievre’s press conference in Hamilton right now, and his speech has devoted extended amounts of time to repeating two debunked claims:

1) that the Liberal platform was written for Trudeau (it wasn’t, Janyce McGregor already fact checked this)

Let’s be real, we all like Andor because it’s like watching Michael Clayton but there’s a Yoda. It kicks ass and it rules but if we weren’t all 40 it wouldn’t rule so hard.

Andor is like something that got smuggled in from the good timeline

Words cannot adequately convey how badly I needed to see my friend Cassian Andor blowing up space fascists.

tbh some of the best intelligence practitioners I've hired had degrees in entirely unrelated fields or no degree at all

Oh so it’s wrong to talk to your wife about secret war plans? The wokes are literally making heterosexuality illegal.

Carrie Bradshaw at her computer

Once again, I was left to wonder: was Pete Hegseth signal chatting military attack plans to everyone but me??

Am I the one that’s insecure, or is it his communication practices that are insecure?