Brad T. Jonas

panel 1: “Yeah. Things are bad.” panel 2: “But it’s important to remember—“ panel 3: “It always can and likely will get significantly worse.” panel 4: “Um…okay. When does the other guidance counselor come back? “The police are still searching.”

guidance

panel 1: a man is getting his head dunked in the toilet by a bully panel 2: “Hey!! Leave him alone!” someone shouts, coming to the man’s defense. panel 3: “It’s a free country, idiot,” the man being lowkey waterboarded says.

bully

panel 1: a familiar scene between Biff and Marty from Back to the Future playing out. Biff says “Since you’re new here, I’m gonna cut you a break. Today.” panel 2: “So uh why don’t you make like a tree…” panel 3: “…and bear fruit” Biff says, handing Marty an apple. panel 4: “Because you are an integral part of this ecosystem,” Biff says, giving Marty a hug.

Biff turns over a new leaf

panel 1: a man reads ‘Reasons to Keep Living’. panel 2: “Hey, is that any good?” a young guy asks the reading man. panel 3: “No,” the man says. panel 4: The young guy looks concerned.

any good?

panel 1: “Hey Glen, how’s it going?” a man asks over a cubicle wall. panel 2: Glen is revealed to be wearing a bedsheet over his body. panel 3: “Sheety” Glen says. He has a to-do list that consists of “sheet” and “more sheet” on his cubicle wall. panel 4: “You’re the lifeblood of the office, Glen,” his coworker says.

how’s glen?

panel 1: “Let’s see, how does the saying go?” panel 2: “If at first you don’t succeed…” panel 3: … panel 4: (he goes back to bed)

Aphorism Andy

panel 1: Before starting his car, a guy sees a note left on his windshield. panel 2: He retrieves the note. panel 3: The note reads “NICE JOB PARKING” panel 4: looking out his window, the man sees that the writer of the note is lying under the front wheel of the car he is in. The note-writer is angrily scribbling out another note that says “THANKS A LOT!”

leave a note

panel 1: “Whoops, I must have grabbed someone else’s drink.” panel 2: “Uh is there a ‘Rudy Something-or-other’ here?” panel 3: We see the name the barista wrote on the cup is ‘RUDE ARSEHOLE’ panel 4: “Well sorry Rudy, but we have the same needlessly complicated drink order.”

someone else’s drink

panel 1: “Why do you draw in the sand? Don’t you want your work to last?” panel 2: “Every day something is gained and something is lost.” panel 3: The man continues with the stick. panel 4: “Have you found the goddamn keys yet, Marty?” “No.”

sand mandala

panel 1: a student has his head down on his desk. “Kevin,” the teacher calls on him. panel 2: “Would you care to provide an example for us?” the teacher asks, Kevin’s head now up. panel 3: “Why? Who Cares. It doesn’t matter. Nothing matters,” Kevin responds. panel 4: We see the teacher has underlined the word ‘nihilism’ on the board. “Right. Good,” he says.

Class Participation

panel 1: “Well, is it time to give up yet?” panel 2: “Or is it finally time to institute…Plan X?” panel 3 & 4: the envelope is opened, ‘plan x’ is removed. panel 5: “Plan X: Learn to play the xylophone” panel 6: The man stares speechlessly at the plan.

new plan

panel 1: Missed Connections “C’mon you f*#!er” someone says while trying to insert a usb drive. panel 2: “Hey tall guy, nice ankles,” a short person says to a basketball player. “No, look down here,” they say, then adding “more down.” panel 3: a woman wearing a ‘hopeless romantic’ shirt checks out a clueless guy wearing a shirt that says “just hopeless.” panel 4: “Well, we match on personality, psychological profile, physical attraction, and political views…but not on pizza topping preferences—sorry, BYE.” he swipes left

more missed connections

panel 1: “Do I lack self-awareness?” a man asks himself. “Yes,” he answers. panel 2: “But doesn’t my awareness of my lack of self-awareness count for anything?” he asks. “Uh ‘scuse me sir, someone off-panel says. panel 3: “You’re standing in dog poop. And wet cement. Also you’re not wearing any pants or shoes and you have something green stuck in your teeth” the off-panel person says. panel 4: pan out to reveal all the things the stranger said are true. “Yes, I am aware,” the man says, annoyed. “Thank you.”

Degrees of Self-Awareness

panel 1: “Hey, is that book any good?” a woman asks a man reading ‘How to Connect with Other People’ on public transit. “I dunno, lemme fuggin’ read it” the man says coldly. panel 2: a man on the down escalator wearing an “I’m with stupid —>” shirt crosses paths with a man on the up escalator wearing a shirt that says “I’m stupid.” panel 3: “Sorry bud, they’re gone now,” a dog owner says to their dog who is sniffing a recently wetted fire hydrant. panel 4: “Nobody gets me like you, mist” a man says while embracing mist. “Stop smothering me,” the mist says.

missed connections

panel 1: A guy sits in bed, doing some important doodling on his tablet. panel 2: an orange cat hops up onto the bed. panel 3: “Password?” the man asks. panel 4: “Mau,” the cat responds. panel 5: the man lifts up his bedcover to reveal a cave-like entrance under his legs. panel 6: “Welcome back to the Under-cover Kitty Club,” the man says as the cat crawls into the lil cozy leg den.

VIPs only

panel 1: “Let’s see, what’s on the calendar for today?” panel 2: the goal for the day is “be kind to yourself” panel 3: “Great goal, asshole.” panel 4: The man crosses out the goal for the day and says “I think that counts.”

on the calendar

panel 1: “Never go to bed angry. Unless you’re mad at your bed. Then go sleep on the comfy bastard.” panel 2: “Your expectations can always go lower. And lower. I’m always discovering new sub-basements.” panel 3: “Only drink for special occasions,” a man says while drinking a beer. The sign behind him shows “HAPPY” with “New Year” and “Houseplant Appreciation Day” both crossed out and “Wednesday” scribbled beneath. panel 4: “Get all your life advice from comics and bathroom graffiti,” a woman in a bathroom stall says. The graffiti on the stall says “For a good time, eat a pan of lasagna” with a cat winky face beneath

unsolicited advice

panel 1: “Life shouldn’t be so hard to enjoy,” a man says to himself. panel 2: “It isn’t,” someone says from off panel. panel 3: “You just need to [activity that requires money, mental stability, time, effort, etc] more,” the guy says. panel 4: “HOLY SHI—“ the man says, exuding some hints of sarcasm.

enjoy it

panel 1: “The topic of today’s comic will be decided by a random wikipedia article, here represented by a paper drawn from a hat.” panel 2: The man rummages around in the hat. panel 3: The man pulls out a slip of paper and reads “Depression (mood).” panel 4: “N-not the e-e-economic one?? the man asks in tears.

so random

panel 1: “Maybe I can make friends as an adult the same way I did as a kid.” panel 2: “With the power of imagination!” panel 3: a magical imaginary clown appears. “I’m Friendzo” he says. panel 4: “Hi Friendzo, do you want to be my friend?” the guy asks, but Friendzo interrupts, putting a hand up and saying “I’m good.”

friendzoed

panel 1: a man wearing a shirt with a heart that says “butts” on it says “Ahhh…time to reminisce about my favorite Valentine’s Day memories.” panel 2: he thinks panel 3: he thinks some more panel 4: with some realization he says “Huh, even the candy was bad.”

Valentine

panel 1: a man is clacking a video game controller in front of his tv panel 2: he glares, evidently upset panel 3: “I pushed jump” he says. panel 4: “You can’t control the people in the news, dear,” a voice from off-panel tells him. He continues to try.

stupid controller

panel 1: a man is covered in a shroud of darkness. “Nothing matters,” he says gloomily. panels 2 and 3: the darkness is slowly lifted panel 4: “Nothing matters,” he says again, smiling this time.

the same but different

panel 1: “Everybody’s getting into the Olympics this year. I like to hear all the inspiring stories.” panel 2: “Dave likes the…ceremonies I think.” Dave holds a flag that says “FLAGS” and a shirt featuring a podium that says “High in PODIUM” panel 3: “Cousin Randy likes anything with interlocking rings.” Randy wears a gold chain and earrings and a Venn Diagram shirt while eating a big pretzel and sitting cross-legged. panel 4: “What does Barkley like—dog sled racing? hahaha” “Skeleton,” Barkley says.

Olympic

panel 1: “Wow, there it is, the key to unlocking joy.” panel 2: “Please let me out. I deserve to be free.” panel 3: “Oh yeah? Then why are you locked up, huh?? Nice try, Scumbag—not lettin you anywhere near me or my family.”

key to unlocking joy

panel 1: “Trevor, it’s time we have the uh…t-talk about uh, you know, s-suh-ssss…” panel 2: “s-suh-ss-ssss—“ panel 3: “Stuttering!” panel 4: “Dad, I have genital warts.”

the t-t-talk

panel 1: “Hey” something says to a guy from the ground. panel 2: “Pick me up, I’m money,” it says. panel 3: the guy grunts while bending over to pick it up panel 4: “Hey, you’re not money, you’re—a coupon for farts??” the man says, perplexed. “Why would anyone buy a fart?” “To get one free, catch up bruh,” the coupon disguised to look like money says. Oh that pesky fake currency!

lying piece of trash

panel 1: “The road is dangerous up ahead, traveler. Better take this,” a stranger says. panel 2: He presents you with a Val-U-Pak coupon book that says “Physical coupons still exist!” panel 3: “Deeeaalsss,” he says. panel 4: “Wait—the road is dangerous, traveler! Take the ‘pons! Oil change and lube for $23.95! Oil change and luuuube!”

the road is dangerous

panel 1: “We gather here today not to mourn a loss, but to celebrate a life which touched us all with warmth, empathy, and grace.” panel 2: “Kevin was beloved for his charity work and generosity—but he made it very clear in his last will and testament that he preferred to be remembered for uh…” panel 3: “…all the times he messed me up in Super Smash Bros. A popular fighting game.” panel 4: “which brings us to the hour long clip compilation portion of the service that Kevin has entitled ‘Get Dunked on, Derek—R.I.P. Me.” a screen comes down showing clips as the DK Rap plays.

legacy

panel 1: “Son, have I ever told you how much I love you?” a dad asks his son. “Yes,” the son says. panel 2: “More than the cat but not as much as the dog,” the son says. panel 3: “That’s right,” the dad confirms, “ although the cat’s been growin’ on me since started eating the mice in the garage.” panel 4: “Hint hint,” the dad says, nudging the son.

fatherly love