Me and my friends:
“Girl!”
“Gurl”
“GURL 👀”
“Girl.”
None of us are girls.
07.03.2026 01:32
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Me and my friends:
“Girl!”
“Gurl”
“GURL 👀”
“Girl.”
None of us are girls.
No one is pushing worse AI “features” than Spotify. Really out here doing the least.
I hope you expensed it to the company too! 🤑
Asking the important questions:
Work should have to buy my morning coffee every time they schedule a meeting before 7:30am
Think of the increased shareholder value!
That’s it, I’ve finally done it! I’ve seen EVERY cat video on the internet.
Me when my cat is sitting right next to me but not on my lap:
I Hate It Here by Taylor Swift
This is NOT my week at work.
Omg literally binged tonight. There’s no way these people are real!
I HAVE to start seeing fewer ads for that grindr podcast with Katya on ig. I get it, but I don’t want it. Leave me alone
This is the sacred text I read to kill time while trying to warm my bones in the longest, steamiest, wettest shower you’ve ever witnessed. I have it memorized at this point.
Franz logo on white background with Some of the Things Bagels speckled with a small smattering of sesame and poppy seeds
Franz Debuts Budget-friendly ‘Some of the Things’ Bagels: tinyurl.com/36b4vtmv
They should put me in charge of the department of defense. My defense strategy? Humor.
101 Dalmatians starring Glenn Close as Cruella De Vil
Glenn Close has never been a dog person
Omygod this looks so good
Finally got to read my performance review today
Black cat investigating a patch that looks like a black cat
Got a new patch that matches Olive. She loves it.
The subscription-ization of everything is going to be my villain origin story.
If your ig story looks like this:
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I’m only making it to the end if I am IN LOVE with you or HATE you. No in-between.
🙋
Being important at work should come with more money
Maybe stop throwing yourself down the stairs, idk not a doctor
Didn’t feel like leg day was very productive this morning and then it was time to walk up 4 flights of stairs at my apartment.
This is all that Punxsutawney Phil’s fault, right?
Just took progress photos for my trainer and let me tell you gays and theys, I am FEELING MYSELF
I first read this as “gay people should have their own Hairline” and thought this was an attack on bald kings 😂
Maybe if it ever stops snowing!
