Gene Weingarten

My Two Minutes with Donald Trump Welcome to The Weekend Gene Pool. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, awaits.

Was it okay to ask Noem if she'd slept with Lewandowski? Take the poll.
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/my-two-min...

The Invitational: Tome Improvement We invited you to follow some famous first lines of literature with funny second lines. Plus our new contest for whuh-oh moments.

Great opening lines of books, followed by brilliantly funny second lines, supplied by readers.
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/the-invita...

What's Wrong With This Picture? (Hint: It's the caption)

Who was our coolest veep? Because it's not this guy. geneweingarten.substack.com/p/whats-wron...

My Closest Encounter With AI Sure, Artificial Intelligence will take all our jobs and leave us destitute and may well lead to the extinction of humanity, but in the meantime we can ask it stupid questions and get elaborate, intel...

Does your bathroom scale spy on you?
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/my-closest...

Finally, Some Goo News! ... Suddenly, it's all about Precious Bodily Fluids and Purity of Essence

Suddenly, it's all about precious bodily fluids, and Purity of Essence.
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/finally-so...

The Invitational Week 165: SOTU-speak! String together some words from the State of the Union to write something even crazier. And put your groaning caps on for our winning name-puns.

There area LOT of real groaners in here. They are great.

geneweingarten.substack.com/p/the-invita...

The State of the Unitard My fellow Americans, I stand here today to tell you about the State of the Gene Pool.

Enjoy this steaming plate of dick a l'orange

geneweingarten.substack.com/p/the-state-...

I am now beginning to not watch the SOTU. I will be done at 10:30 or so.

The Invitational Week 164: Hilarity Ensues Follow the first line of a book with something funny. Plus winning valentines.

Not lovesick. Sick love. The new Invitational.
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/the-invita...

A Dish of Evil, Served Al Dante We might be at a tipping point, no? Trump seems to be failing … everywhere, all at once.

What in Hell? (Not what. Who.)
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/a-dish-of-...

Gene Therapy I Chat With Chat (so you don’t have to) - episode 8

Revealed: I'm not the ONLY editor behind this thing.
tomshroder.substack.com/p/gene-therapy

Sheer Butchery Hi.

Writers: Read this and weep.
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/sheer-butc...

Happy Presidents' Day. Truck Fump. Let’s put this to rest: Donald Trump is the worst president in American history.

Trump wins another prize!

geneweingarten.substack.com/p/happy-pres...

The Equine Paradox: There are more horse's asses in the world than there are horses.

The dic says "nailed" is not gendered, though it SEEMS to be. Shag is also not gendered.

True...

She loved it. Why gross? Are you in the Rex Parker school of nothing even vaguely lewd or disturbing? Please explain.

The clue for 6-down in today’s NYT crossword puzzle is the single most un-Times-like clue I have ever seen. Clapclapclapclap.

Grandpa The Cat! . . . As you have never seen her before.

Prepare to be shocked.
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/grandpa-th...

Indeed.

Uh, I Am in the Epstein Files. When Rachel Manteuffel came home from work yesterday, I asked her, solemnly, to sit across from me at the dining room table.

So... holy shit?
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/uh-i-am-in...

-- Endit -- The scumbags finally struck today, officially, though they’ve been up to their scumbaggery for years.

This one is about scumbags.
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/endit

Is It All Grover, Now? In reading about the Epstein files and the sickening debaucheries and treacheries that swirl within, I find myself thinking — like you, no doubt — about fat old Grover Cleveland.

In which I ask a disturbing question....
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/is-it-all-...

Just How Dumb Are We? Two odd things happened almost simultaneously last night. They arrived like a one-two punch of blinding illumination, the bad kind, where you wind up on your ass in the gutter, seeing stars.

As dumb as you fear we are.
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/just-how-d...

Where Is Pittsburgh? Okay, I didn’t intend to come back to the cats this quickly. I will make it brief.

If you think you know where Pittsburgh is, think again.
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/where-is-p...

The Invitational Week 161: You OED Us One Make up a bogus definition for 'barlafumble' or other obscure words. Plus winning new words for Dave Coverly's 'Speed Bump' cartoons.

Cat lovers will want to check out the cat captions.
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/the-invita...

Now Here's a Fucking Idea... Maybe I’m the first to say this?

What do you think?
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/now-heres-...

Zzzzzzzzzzzz? Warning: I am about to tell you about a vivid dream from which I just now woke up.

Just sharing my nightmare from last night.
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/zzzzzzzzzzzz

The Ugly American — Have you heard about what happened in Davos?

Do you personally feel ashamed of being an American? Please take the poll.
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/the-ugly-a...

The Invitational Week 160: M*A*S*H-Ups For movie award season, combine two titles to make a new one with a current plot. Plus winning neologisms.

Are you familiar with The Invitational? Check it out. It's 33 years old and still kicking.
geneweingarten.substack.com/p/the-invita...