Christine Witcher is ✨ querying ✨

I think the catchy title carried a lot of weight, but I analyze my query letter over on TikTok if you’re interested!

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CONGRATULATIONS, YOUR FAKE BOYFRIEND IS EVIL got six requests in the first week of querying, including interest from a big 5 publisher. So, I guess you could say I’m a big deal. Wanna sit at my table? #UnhingedPit #Q #A #PN #F #R

For all the girlies who have ever left their ID at the bar and woken up to a demon in their enchanted house. I offer up the house margarita with a salty rim that is CONGRATULATIONS, YOUR FAKE BOYFRIEND IS EVIL. Now querying. #UnhingedPit #A #PN #R #F #Q

If Practical Magic, a kraken, and a lighthouse had a baby, it would be CONGRATULATIONS, YOUR FAKE BOYFRIEND IS EVIL. Now querying with 4 fulls out in the first month. #UnhingedPit #A #PN #F #R #Q

Rules 1. nothing conventional: No standard sentence/paragraph hooks, or lists 2. All book comps must be 5+ years old and/or obscure 3. three posts per project Examples: Meme boards GIF comps Song COMPS Crude stick figure drawings Character red flags Dating profile AITA pitch Be free. Get unhinged.

ALL projects are welcome. Tags are not required, but here are some suggestions: #Q = querying #OS = on submission #W = WIP #P = published #AG = agented #CS = coming soon #A, #NA, #YA, #MG, #CB, #PB #F = fantasy #SF = sci-fi #H = horror #T = thriller #R = romance #LGBT = LGBTQ+ #NF = nonfiction #P = poetry anything else you can think of

Make sure you're aware of our "rules" before the next #UnhingedPit! Coming soon...

#writingcommunity

a whale in the water with the words bye buddy hope you find your dad below it ALT: a whale in the water with the words bye buddy hope you find your dad below it

Querying an agent with a 1% query reply rate.

Moodboard: Top Left Image: Picture of Angels Landing in Zion National Park and the chain hikers follow in order to get to the summit. Top Right: A picture of Zion Lodge showing the wide green front lawn and the red canyon peaks set behind the wooden lodge itself. Middle Left: An image of the Great White Throne, a large mountain in Zion with a white top for which it got its name. Center: A piece of tape reading "Beholders: Zion" Middle Right: An aerial image of Walters Wiggles, a portion of the Angels Landing Trail that is a bunch of switch backs climbing up the canyon. Left Patch: A National Park Services patch in the shape of an arrowhead. Right Badge: A wooden Jr. Ranger badge made of wood earned if doing the Jr. Rangers program at Zion. Bottom left: A crumpled piece of paper with a feather taped to it, and text on the paper reading "It's our world to protect. Whether we see it or not." Bottom Right: An image of the Lower Emerald Pools in Zion and water from the Middle Pool falling from the rock overhang. Background: A geographical map of Zion National Park. Made with Canva

FABLEHAVEN x SPIDERWICK
Zion hides more than beautiful trails and cliffs—it's a haven for Unseen, hidden magical creatures. When the Veil separating our worlds unravels 18yo Ranger Samantha and 13yo Jr Ranger Terrance must stop Zion from forgetting itself or become lost forever.
#WSpit #Q #YA #F #ND

pitch deck

pitch deck

pitch deck

pitch deck

Foul of mouth, slippery of tongue. Rosa knows the opinion of the clergy. To protect her family, she must transform her network of whispers into a weapon of resistance. If she cannot outmaneuver the priest's zealotry, the flames may reach her doorstep next.
THE GOSSIPS
#WSPit #WIP #A #WF #F

pitch deck

pitch deck

pitch deck

pitch deck

When a brutal breakup and a grief- and margarita-fueled spell leave Mac living with a magical boyfriend she built from scratch, she must unravel the enchantment before it destroys her newfound home—and any chance at real love.

CONGRATULATIONS, YOUR FAKE BOYFRIEND IS EVIL

#WSPit #Q #A #PN #R

a background of frost and ice with the words An Agent’s Guide to Be Gay Do Crimes WIP.

a background image of frost and ice. The pitch for Be Gay Do Crimes WIP: To keep her queer crew from being kicked out of their gang, 24 year-old thief Ness must steal a prince, get him to his rich aunt, and keep her pretty nemesis from interfering. Falling for both of them wasn’t in the plan. A collage of memes for Be Gay Do Crimes WIP: -steal everything your gay little hands can carry -middle spoon -the nonsense has escalated -* instant regret * -the sexual tension when someone says "make me" -Be Gay do Crimes -A knife? Are you flirting with me? -A cat walking on two legs carrying an umbrella and carpet bag. Sheet music with the caption I don't know where I'm going but I'm gay -A tweet from @ MaineMillennial: the goal of polyamory is to acquire enough partners to pull off a successful heist.

a background of frost and ice. For fans of Running Close to the Wind by Alexandra Rowland (fun romp, horny MC), A Power Unbound by Freya Marske (queer fantasy romance, cool magic system), Little Thieves by Margaret Owen (female con MC, cat-and-mouse romance), 1997 Anastasia movie (banter, travel) Ocean’s Eight movie and The Gilded Wolves by Roshani Chokshi (heists, found family).

a background of frost and ice. An excerpt from Be Gay Do Crimes WIP: “Stop, thief.” Ness stills. She knows that voice. Smooth blades of midnight wrapped in silk. A frisson of excitement shoots down Ness’ spine, and she has to force herself to turn slowly. It’s bad form for a mouse to appear too eager to entice the cat into a heart-pounding chase. Though she’s shrouded in shadow, she meets Melirin’s flinty gaze unerringly. Her obsidian eyes glint with a spark of challenge.

Picking locks is a bit like discovering what makes a lover come undone; it requires patience, focus, and a dash of magic. Luckily for Ness, she happens to have all three.

#1stLinePit #WIP #A #F #R #LGBT #CMe

agent pitch deck title slide

the pitch slide

the comp title slide

the opening scene slide

“Rosa’s neck prickled, right at the base of her skull, like a stiff breeze on sweaty skin. And the whisper came. Nothing so evil as magic. Just a cunning. A trivial gift. And it told her the words to say to loosen any tongue that already sat poised to spill a story.
THE GOSSIPS
#WSPit #WIP #A #WF #F

agent pitch deck title slide

the pitch slide

the comp title slide

the opening scene slide

"As she stepped inside the house, she was met by the smell of dust and rosemary and petrichor—and the almost spicy back-of-the-throat tingle of layers and layers of magic."

CONGRATULATIONS, YOUR FAKE BOYFRIEND IS EVIL

#WSPit #Q #A #PN #R

Yes!!! The ‘90s witchy energy is strong in my novel :)

BABEL × BLOOD OVER BRIGHT HAVEN
A mixed-blood scholar. An academy built on a lie. One thesis that could save her people—if the truth doesn’t bury her first.
#QuestPit #A #DF #W

In a world where gender can be changed with one DNA-based op, what happens when your previous identity’s genetic signature is used without your knowledge? After witnessing a murder by a man bearing her former face, Ella finds out the hard way. #WSPit #YA #SF #Q #LGBT #agentguide

NA/A Historical Fantasy, 89k

Anne is five months pregnant. She tells herself she can handle it, but what she CAN’T handle are baby-snatching fairies. As magical creatures take over her smoky Victorian mill, she must stop her new employers before they steal every baby in the city, including her own.
#WSpit #Q #A #F #Hi #wf #PN

Four images in a grid with AN IRRATIONAL FEAR OF BLOOD in the center. First image: a southern oak covered in spanish moss. Second: a conference room filled with empty chairs. Third: a hand holding a smartphone in front of their steering wheel, showing a 90s-era forum called Sparkle Net. Fourth: a gator's head breaking otherwise calm waters.

A southern oak dripping with spanish moss and backlit by the sun. Beneath, text: I could see the world in excruciating detail. See the breaks in the bark and the ants marching up the trunk. See the lichen in its vivid greens, splotches like a handprint. See an actual handprint on the shadowed side of the oak. See the dried blood, an outline. And see, when I tilted my head back, the body draped almost lovingly in the great arms of the big oak.

An empty conference room. Below, text: She’d even put together a buffet table. Somewhere, she’d found light blue table cloths and draped them across several long tables, even set out a few bowls of what appeared to be wilted lettuce, shredded cheese, and plain popcorn. Marring her display, though, were the bodies.

A mock up of a 90s-era internet forum called SparkleNet. Below, text: Out of habit, I checked the Sparkle Net app. There were a few new posts, nothing of interest. I used the notes to log my feeding session—always a good idea to keep track, if only to avoid double-dipping—and was just putting my phone away when I smelled it. Blood.

A vampire who faints at the sight of blood must stop a messy murderer before her community becomes a target for vampire hunters.
Now with more:
🐊 gators,
💪 freshly turned college bros,
🏳️‍🌈 lesbians, and
🫦 consensual biting.
#WSPit #Q #SFF #LGBT #Own

These are all my favorite things to read AND write!!

A mood board with a light blue background and the title The Society of Curse Breakers in the center. From left two right: a picture of an old fashioned diver, the words found family, a picture of a brick mansion, the words urban fantastic a picture of a plane, the word curses, a picture or a tunnel, the word spirits, a old fashioned sailing ship, the word pirates, a picture of a lighthouse, the word strange villians and cryptids, a map of Florida’s a swamp, the word folklore, the words diverse magic systems, a capybara, a message in a bottle.

To break a curse she is wrongly accused of casting, Alice must team up with a crew of untrained magic wielders and sail treacherous seas, battling folktales and cryptids. A map of riddles guides their way, but the family secrets it reveals may be the most deadly barrier of all. #wspit #q #f #nd

The galaxy is running out of time, who will save it?

🌌High speed chases
🌌Unfathomable threat
🌌Found family between rejects

In a galaxy where silence is survival, These ragtag aliens quest for truth and vengeance will tear everything apart.

#WSPIT #A #SF #M #Q

Happy #WSPIT! Can’t wait to connect with other authors!

Adira Hart climbs the ranks of magical academia. Then, a prince threatens to reveal her secret: Years ago, she cheated on her entrance exam.

Featuring:
🤝Forced Proximity
✨Magic with consequences
🧌Walled City & Forest of Monsters
#Q #A #F

an agents guide to my novel

the pitch slide

the comp titles slide

the opening scene slide

WHEN WOMEN WERE DRAGONS x THE MERCIES x BURY OUR BONES.

✨ Whisper networks
✨ Braided POVs
✨ Feminist allegory
✨ Subtle magic

THE GOSSIPS

#WSPit #WIP #A #WF #F

An agents guide to my novel

the pitch slide

the comp titles slide

the opening paragraphs

EX HEX x MAGICAL INNKEEPING x Charmed.

✨ Found family
✨ Witchy romcom
✨ Enchanted house
✨ Diverse cast

CONGRATULATIONS, YOUR FAKE BOYFRIEND IS EVIL
#WSPit #Q #A #PN #R

"Mackenzie Fisher was a good girlfriend. She went to every freaking one of Soren’s shows. She bought the cereal he liked, even though he left the box on top of the fridge, half-finished for months at a time." #amquerying

"As she stepped inside the house, she was met by the smell of dust and rosemary and petrichor—and the almost spicy back-of-the-throat tingle of layers and layers of magic." CONGRATULATIONS, YOUR FAKE BOYFRIEND IS EVIL - #AmQuerying

CONGRATULATIONS, YOUR FAKE BOYFRIEND IS EVIL - a paranormal romance, now querying