Just A Normal Hooman

look how normal my hat is

hey

I must begrudgingly admit I left too many traces unwittingly over the years, before I learned to start covering my tracks.

Gonna need to start fresh but I’m sure y’all who truly care about me will figure it out right quick. I can’t move on completely from the bit lol.

i thought i was careful, i really did.

fml

also i hate my irl name lol

oh yeah that’s fine. obviously i have a job. i’m mostly worried that she’ll contact my employer. but what makes me *mad* is now my bit is ruined

i guess everybody knows my business now :/

thx

being repulsive

that seems like a very normal human thing to do

i could never, throw them all out and buy new ones

screenshot of a post from X by the Mirriam-Webster account. Their tweet says Words step up when numbers fail. They are retweeting a post from @david_arid that reads: There was a computer flitch at the end of tonight's Nuggets game that erased all the players' stats, which led to this fantastic screengrab from the post-game show. Then there is a blurry picture from a men's basketball game and the chyron says: Time Hardaway Jr. Stats are down but he played great."

I need "Stats are down but he played great" to make it into the lexicon.

i think he’s probably great at aftercare too

gonna keep a low profile for a while

rfk jr moaning in olivia nuzzi's ear

fucking dutch

Elvis was amazing, before he came along nobody had ever shoved a snake that far up their own rectum

Elvis could only dance like that because a rattlesnake was biting his colon

yeah elvis > kanye but only by a negligible amount

britney spears > elvis

it’s a fact supported by science

i love dick cheney. now.

Nate Silver & @NateSilver538 It's probably foolish to think a NYC mayor will successfully translate into being a national political figure, but I still think Eric Adams would be in my top 5 for "who will be the next Democratic presidential nominee after Joe Biden?".

Wonder if we’ll get a new one

WE’RE DRINKING

such a blessed night indeed

IM GONNA GET DRUNK

New York City Mayor PROJECTED WINNER Zohran Mamdani DecisionDeskHQ.com Vecision Tesk HQ

ZOHRAN MAMDANI

the first muslim woman being elected to statewide office (in any state!) the day dick cheney died is beautiful

it’s nine PM on the east coast and polls have closed

bring me the head of andrew cuomo

AMAZING