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Emily

@becausechaucer

Proverbs 27:14 | definitely not a vampire | not as into Chaucer as it sounds from the name | ask before adding me to lists/packs/etc

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15.08.2023
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Latest posts by Emily @becausechaucer

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"SHIT"
"FUCK"
"NO"
"FUCK"
"SHIT"
"FUCK"

06.03.2026 11:30 ๐Ÿ‘ 2448 ๐Ÿ” 867 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 24 ๐Ÿ“Œ 39

The spaceshippe of an olde tyme stande uppe comedian ys powered by a mysterious mineral called amirite

07.03.2026 04:06 ๐Ÿ‘ 89 ๐Ÿ” 13 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 5 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

After walking all night, Sam sends Gollum to find food. He returns with rabbits but is dismayed when Sam cooks them. To the hobbits the small stew of meat and herbs is a feast.

They are captured when smoke from Samโ€™s fire attracts Rangers of Ithilien, led by a man named Faramir.

07.03.2026 09:15 ๐Ÿ‘ 29 ๐Ÿ” 7 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 2
Preview
2008 United States salmonellosis outbreak - Wikipedia

When there are only like 5 companies, and 3 of them all use the same 2 huge plants, a single food safety issue can end up basically *everywhere*.

A single farm can basically end up contaminating like, the tomato supply in every state with salmonella.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2008_Un...

04.03.2026 10:32 ๐Ÿ‘ 43 ๐Ÿ” 13 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Hello I hear you have cheese

07.03.2026 03:15 ๐Ÿ‘ 4 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
brother herbert hauling a bigass carrot

brother herbert hauling a bigass carrot

๐Ÿฅ•๐Ÿ’ช

06.03.2026 22:09 ๐Ÿ‘ 1094 ๐Ÿ” 319 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 6 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

happy frog sexmas etc

07.03.2026 02:50 ๐Ÿ‘ 1 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

What I just finished reading: Snake Eater by @tkingfisher.com . A nice story about a woman reinventing herself after leaving a bad relationship. Then the folk horrors start gazing into her windows. Cue shotguns.

<sighs>Why did I even attempt to expect anything else?

06.03.2026 19:45 ๐Ÿ‘ 132 ๐Ÿ” 10 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 5 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Fuck youuuuuuuu the number of "whoopsie daisies we are uwu smol bean who got hacked by the big bad wolf" emails I get does not make me think any of this works. Just let me the fuck IN so I can do the executive function-sucking admin

06.03.2026 19:47 ๐Ÿ‘ 1 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Sign into our website. Sign into your password manager. Verify that you just signed into your password manager. NOW sign into the website. Now enter your OTP. Now reset your password. Now verify that you reset your password. Now return to the login page. Now sign in with your new password. The passw

06.03.2026 19:47 ๐Ÿ‘ 1 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Look, health insurance, I would LOVE to give you the receipt you're asking for, but you're the one who demanded I reset my password immediately upon login, glitched mid-reset, and am now smugly informing me I can't change my password more than once a day, so I really think I've done my part here

06.03.2026 18:32 ๐Ÿ‘ 1 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

you are currently providing a valuable trivia service

06.03.2026 17:33 ๐Ÿ‘ 2 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

To reach the coast of Gondor in time, Aragorn rides straight across the plain from Helmโ€™s Deep towards Edoras. With him ride only Legolas, Gimli, his Rangers, and the Sons of Elrond.

06.03.2026 14:55 ๐Ÿ‘ 36 ๐Ÿ” 5 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

When your local newspaper rebrands to cover the whole state then repeatedly canโ€™t distribute the print edition because of problems in Iowa where they moved production to cut costs, youโ€™ve been โ€ฆ

NICKLED AND DES MOINESโ€™D

06.03.2026 13:45 ๐Ÿ‘ 55 ๐Ÿ” 6 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 5 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
A fluffy white cat reclines in a modern white lounge chair, lying on its back with its front paws resting on its belly and back legs stretched out. The cat looks relaxed and content, as if lounging like a person in the sunlight near a window.

A fluffy white cat reclines in a modern white lounge chair, lying on its back with its front paws resting on its belly and back legs stretched out. The cat looks relaxed and content, as if lounging like a person in the sunlight near a window.

Good, I see the council is assembled. We have mews from the outer rim to discuss.

20.08.2025 22:46 ๐Ÿ‘ 825 ๐Ÿ” 138 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 15 ๐Ÿ“Œ 7
06.03.2026 16:29 ๐Ÿ‘ 1222 ๐Ÿ” 231 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 22 ๐Ÿ“Œ 6

"Listen to me:

Our profit from the post office is the post office.

Our profit from a library is the library.

Our profit from a school is the school."

05.03.2026 21:35 ๐Ÿ‘ 44 ๐Ÿ” 21 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

*grimly* I should not be surprised by the fact that a child who was not literate until I myself was in college has never mailed a letter. This is not abnormal. It is 20 fucking 26.

Somehow.

06.03.2026 01:34 ๐Ÿ‘ 2 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

dust, withering, etc

06.03.2026 01:25 ๐Ÿ‘ 5 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
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"Our call to care for people and reach across aisles is actually not based on whether they agree with us theologically or not...at the end of the day, feeding people who need to eat is what we're called to do as Christians." @katelynbeaty on ๐ŸŽ™๏ธHoly Post 710

06.03.2026 00:00 ๐Ÿ‘ 19 ๐Ÿ” 1 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

๐Ÿ˜ฎ

06.03.2026 00:26 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Pippin cannot sleep. He creeps over to Gandalf and steals the palantรญr. He looks in and sees the Barad-dรปr, then the Nine, then hears the voice of the Dark Lord himself.

Heโ€™s released with a message: โ€˜Tell Saruman that this dainty is not for him. I will send for it at once.โ€™

05.03.2026 23:45 ๐Ÿ‘ 42 ๐Ÿ” 5 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 4

and she has a sideways face

05.03.2026 23:18 ๐Ÿ‘ 5 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Ok...so monk seals snort eels. But I hear you asking: What about me?

You can too!

According to a 1440 book of medical advice, you can cure a bloody nose by crushing up dried eel skin & snorting it like blow (through your "nose thirlles").

Don't let the seals have all the fun!
๐Ÿ—ƒ๏ธ๐Ÿงช

05.03.2026 21:24 ๐Ÿ‘ 76 ๐Ÿ” 11 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 9 ๐Ÿ“Œ 1

I understand the desire to rebrand courses so as to attract more students, but I think it would be more effective if universities reinstituted some breadth requirements in the humanities and arts. I believe that @lollardfish.bsky.social has made this point in the past, and I agree.

05.03.2026 19:12 ๐Ÿ‘ 40 ๐Ÿ” 10 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 3 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
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ICO writes to Meta over 'concerning' AI smart glasses report Videos, including of glasses-wearers using the toilet or having sex, are sometimes reviewed by a Kenya-based subcontractor.

Last year when I was checking into a hotel, the desk person was wearing Meta glasses. I kindly asked them to take them off. They were annoyed. I said, โ€œI do not consent to you looking at my credit card and ID with Meta glasses on.โ€ My instincts were correct: www.bbc.com/news/article...

05.03.2026 15:27 ๐Ÿ‘ 5935 ๐Ÿ” 2385 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 90 ๐Ÿ“Œ 182

There used to be an old sign by the path, warning passers-by of the local sleeping willow, which would trap the unwary with fatigue, engulf them while they slept, and release them a hundred years later.

There was a new sign:

"This sleeping willow is full."

And a map of other locations to try.

05.03.2026 14:06 ๐Ÿ‘ 530 ๐Ÿ” 205 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 6 ๐Ÿ“Œ 1

LOVE meeting someone wearing the same outfit

05.03.2026 15:10 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Thรฉoden answers Saruman.

โ€˜Even if your war on me was justโ€”as it was not, for were you ten times as wise, you would have no right to rule me and mine for your own profit as you desiredโ€”even so, what will you say of your torches in Westfold and the children that lie dead there?โ€™

05.03.2026 14:55 ๐Ÿ‘ 32 ๐Ÿ” 11 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Not to be THAT feminist, but I knew this was the case before opening the article. Men see fatherhood as an abstract milestone that's a proof of their virility, women see the associated costs.

Not to mention that women not being locked into domesticity is the core of the antifeminist backlash today.

05.03.2026 13:01 ๐Ÿ‘ 1484 ๐Ÿ” 367 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 45 ๐Ÿ“Œ 30