Every single version of Santa Baby that I've ever heard is DISTURBINGLY horny, but the Kylie Minogue one is OFF THE CHARTS. I love Kylie Minogue, but she deserved prison. Has anyone EVER recorded a version that doesn't sound like they're actively salivating over Santa's cock, or is that not a thing?
In death I live.
Among Lost Souls.
My eyes I keep
This place was Hell
In Heaven
I'll miss to stay here.
I'll be a Ghost
Unlike the way
You Ghosted me
I'll be here
For many moons
Displaced, watching
As Earth Screams
For intervention
I'll try again
To enter once more
Forever lost
In my Presence
A black pillow on a white couch. The pillow is embroidered with the face of a screaming goat, eyes bulging and mouth wide in an expression of unmitigated horror.
Look, I know that fast fashion is terrible and I try to buy nothing new and repair what I have whenever possible. But my normal resistance to Temu ads is utterly undone by this objectively incredible item
Interviewer: are you an independent thinker?
Me: *glances over at my mom as she nods her head* yes
THIS!👇
Sounds like a solid Wednesday night…
Guy Sculpting Mt Rushmore: fuck, this looks nothing like John Wayne motorboating Rita Hayworth
Passerby: Dude is that Roosevelt
Guy: uh, yeah
Alles Gute zum "Ja es gibt einen Männertag, er ist am 19. November, nein ihr habt euch bisher nicht drum gekümmert und das Interesse ausgerechnet nur heute lässt tief blicken"-Tag.
Medusa: *taking a selfie* goddammit!
Me: "One time I farted so long, I was surprised that my butt didn't have to stop and catch its breath."
Interviewer: " ... and a weakness?"
This is my emotional support middle finger. It’s important that it travels with me wherever I go.
Elon Musk is not the richest man in the world; men who live at home with their partner and children who love them experience riches he couldn't imagine.
My Spiders? From Mars
Scared of regular clowns?
Scared of Pennywise?
Ha.
Now here's a clown to haunt you in your nightmares:
Honey, I Shrunk The Kids' Future
If a billionaire fell in a forest and there was no one around to hear him, that would be perfect
Box City, a store that sells boxes
"HOLY. FUCKING. SHIT." - cats
All boobs go to heaven.
All the best horror movies feature someone panicking in a ball gown
instead of stressing yourself over news designed to make you want to stress out, read a free story about how, among other things, rent is a curse
www.lightspeedmagazine.com/fiction/bhat...
This is AWESOME! It would make a great pilot for a series.
I truly loved It, thanks for sharing
I’m just glad that my faith in humanity isn’t alive to see any of this.
i always forget to celebrate :(
saw someone at the grocery store with a face tattoo and a baby; said to myself “see, you *can* have everything.”
somewhere out there is a snake with a fat ass
the closest i've ever felt to feeling like i'm in The Thing (1982) is walking around now as a white guy around other white guys and not knowing which of them religiously listen to joe rogan
