fillie

the iron dome is far outmatched by a much better interceptor of missiles, the iron ground

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it would be really cool and nice of you if you wanted to help me out 🤠💖

so it's gonna take, ahh, four, maybe five weeks at least to fight this guy i think

*one week*

please say uncle. Please

that's the tragedy of it i'm afraid. you're not

it is almost cereal time again

the funeral procession was beautiful cedar. small girls threw flowers and wept

his name before you killed him

ya basta

you're gonna execute a man whose name you know.. knew

don't worry, none of them are real people and they can't do anything except their routine inside the box

this is so fucking embarrassing

title card narration to the number one history channel show in 2010

good plan... hm... Very well i will do this

yesss!!! i feel like it's so hard to write believable, immersive ancient settings, especially in retellings of biblical stories, but this one just has the Juice

also by far his scariest piece to me because i hate heights haha

i know Story of your Life is the goat everyone remembers but this whole collection is sooo good... like Understand and Hell is the Absence of God changed my brain chemistry

like, ted?

it could be one nightmare day that you have to look back on that does still matter, or it could be that one year stuff happened and you never think about it. either way it will always end up as just "that one time," and you nearly always live/feel better than that one time, even if it was yesterday

it sounds like a cliche, but when a mom tells a kid her breakup is "not the end of your world" and "you'll be so fine you'll forget it," that's about everything else too. tell yourself that enough and eventually the cliche comes true and you get strong and the uphill slope levels out beneath you

not my convo but this 1,000 times over. it is always something you'll look back on with surprise, how it seems so small and brief, just a page or two that got scribbled on before you brought yourself back to the rest of the story. it being easy once it's over doesn't make it easy now, but it *will*

the left doesn't need to meme because every bit we could possibly do has already been done by the President in total and complete earnest

he's so fucking evil and yet still old and stupid enough to make us laugh like this

it was too much for her little heart to handle

adore how this is the single most shocking event of her life. she is speechless

open junk drawer with a burning energizer battery leaking strange grey goo

so um it's still fine i have like 99,

well i better go check !!! *click*

we're literally fine. i have like a hundred batteries in the junk drawer

actors shouldn’t be allowed to do that. that’s lying

but but but that's my fucking truck

you’re laughing? iran is lobbing missiles at linkedin mutants, techbros and ufc fighters and you’re laughing?