Discworld Bot

A place for everyone, and everyone in their place.

Small Gods

The librarian was, ex officio, a member of the college council. No one had been able to find any rule about orang-utans being barred, although they had surreptitiously looked very hard for one.

𝐸𝓇𝒾𝒸

He might, if he had time, have reflected that the purpose of civilization is to make violence the final resort, while to a barbarian it is the first, preferred, only and above all most enjoyable option.

Interesting Times

"There's something about tortoises. Tortoises I can believe in. They seem to have a lot of existence in one place. It's gods in general I'm having trouble with."

𝒮𝓂𝒶𝓁𝓁 𝒢𝑜𝒹𝓈

"From what I hear he mostly doesn’t do a —ing thing!" he complained. "Yeah," said Mr. Pin smoothly. "One on the hardest things to do properly, in politics."

𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘵𝘩

"Dwarfs and trolls get along like a house on fire," said Nobby. "Ever been in a burning house, miss?"

Men at Arms

Genua had once controlled the river mouth and taxed its traffic in a way that couldn't be called piracy because it was done by the city government.

𝘞𝘪𝘵𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘴 𝘈𝘣𝘳𝘰𝘢𝘥

Don't put your faith in gods. But you can believe in turtles.

Small Gods

"This is all very well, but the form of things is important!" snapped a priest. "We can’t all pray at once! You know the gods don’t like ecumenicalism! And what form of words will we use, pray?"

𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘓𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘏𝘦𝘳𝘰

So I had to learn. All my life. The hard way. And the hard way's pretty hard, but not so hard as the easy way. I learned.

𝓛𝓸𝓻𝓭𝓼 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓛𝓪𝓭𝓲𝓮𝓼

Everything that happens, stays happened.
"What kind of philosophy is that?"
The only one that works.

𝒯𝒽𝒾𝑒𝒻 𝑜𝒻 𝒯𝒾𝓂𝑒

"But is all this true?" said Brutha.
Didactylos shrugged. "Could be. Could be. We are here and it is now. The way I see it is, after that, everything tends towards guesswork."

𝘚𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘎𝘰𝘥𝘴

No-one with their sleeves rolled up who walks purposefully with a piece of paper held conspicuously in their hand is ever challenged.

Moving Pictures

Magrat plunged on with the brave desperation of someone dancing in the light of their burning bridges.

Witches Abroad

Better any king than chaos.

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑭𝒊𝒇𝒕𝒉 𝑬𝒍𝒆𝒑𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒕

And I didn't bother with chapter six, because I promised my mother I'd just stick with the looting and pillaging, until I find the right girl.

Sourcery

A couple of ballet dancers fainted, but carefully, so as not to get their clothes dirty.

𝓜𝓪𝓼𝓴𝓮𝓻𝓪𝓭𝓮

"Oh," said Rincewind.
"You understand?" said Ponder.
"No. I was just hoping that if I didn’t say anything you’d stop trying to explain things to me."

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑳𝒂𝒔𝒕 𝑯𝒆𝒓𝒐

C.M.O.T. Dibbler liked to be up at first light, in case there was an opportunity to sell a worm to the early bird.

𝘚𝘰𝘶𝘭 𝘔𝘶𝘴𝘪𝘤

"Good grief! You don’t think—"
"No, I don’t think, sir, I’m a civil servant. I advise other people. Then they think.

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑭𝒊𝒇𝒕𝒉 𝑬𝒍𝒆𝒑𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒕

There are no delusions for the dead.

Lords and Ladies

I know that time was made for men, not the other way around.

𝓣𝓱𝓲𝓮𝓯 𝓸𝓯 𝓣𝓲𝓶𝓮

"Gods are all right," said Granny, as they ate their lunch and looked at the view. "You don't bother gods, and gods don't come bothering you."

Equal Rites

Knowing how stories work is almost all the battle.

𝑾𝒊𝒕𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒔 𝑨𝒃𝒓𝒐𝒂𝒅

I’m on the sharp end of witchcraft, which means doing what should be done as best you can. It’s all about the people, Mrs. Earwig, not about the books.

Terry Pratchett

"Anyway, it'll be int'resting to see if it works."
"Yes, but it's wrong," said Granny.
"Not for these parts, it seems," said Nanny.

𝓦𝓲𝓽𝓬𝓱𝓮𝓼 𝓐𝓫𝓻𝓸𝓪𝓭

Words are the litmus paper of the mind. If you find yourself in the power of someone who will use the word "commence" in cold blood, go somewhere else very quickly. But if they say "Enter," don't stop to pack.

𝘚𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘎𝘰𝘥𝘴

"Fortune favors the brave, sir," said Carrot cheerfully.
"Good. Good. Pleased to hear it, captain. What is her position vis-à-vis heavily armed, well prepared and excessively manned armies?"
"Oh, no one's ever heard of Fortune favoring them, sir."

Jingo

It struck Mort with sudden, terrible poignancy that Death must be the loneliest creature in the universe.

𝘔𝘰𝘳𝘵

"They're both magic. If you can't learn to ride an elephant, you can at least learn to ride a horse."

Equal Rites