Aeryn Rudel

This is dark arts 101. Necromancers, don’t hide your vital essence in precious baubles or bits of #jewelry. That's the first place good guys are gonna look. Old electronics are best. There’s nothing more valueless and easier to overlook than a desktop computer from 2004.

#vss365 #microfiction

Dad was crazy for silver. He bought #jewelry, antiques, even ingots of the stuff. What I thought was investment turned out to be insurance. Last month, we found his secret room with the reinforced door, the manacles, and piles of calendars with each full moon circled in red.

#vss365 #microfiction

Second Bite Flash Fiction, Horror, First Published at MetaStellar (2020)

Time for more Friday Flash. This is a wee vampire tale that I had a blast writing. It’s got a wacky new potential origin for #vampires, and MetaStellar liked it enough to publish it back in 2020 (bless them). Check it out!

intheflash.substack.com/p/second-bite

#flashfiction #writingcommunity

After conquering Earth, the Kanabite Empire declared that only one human in ten would be harvested for the food vats. Though this #magnanimity seemed out of character for the Kanabites, humans ARE widely considered to be the worst tasting of the lesser sapient species.

#vss365 #microfiction

If you kill folks for a living, you need a hobby. I like to grow things: tomatoes, peppers, carrots. Got a couple acres outside the city, and I always end up with a #bountiful harvest. I think it’s the fertilizer I use. Nah, you wouldn’t know the brand. I get it from work.

#vss365 #microfiction

The Monsters the Guidelines Forgot: Vampires How To Write Vampire Stories That Don't Suck

Continuing my series on how to write stories featuring classic, tropey monsters publishers will actually buy, I'm sinking my teeth into everyone’s favorite bloodsucking parasite: #vampires! Check it out.

#writingcommunity

aerynrudel.substack.com/p/the-monste...

Brownies are #timid, but they’ll accept gumdrops and jellybeans if you leave them out. Pro tip: strychnine looks a lot like sugar crystals, but it tastes terrible. Best to go with thallium sulfate since it’s flavorless. Tune in next week for my famous brownie pie recipe!

#vss365 #microfiction

Phoebe is obsessed with protein bars and shakes. Whenever I open one, she comes running. Here she is saying, "Gimme them gains, bro."

(I did not, in fact, give her them gains, bro)

#cats #mainecoon #catsofbluesky

Coffee Fiend Caffeine and Corruption, a Match Made in Hell

Time for another installment of In the Flash. I sold this story to Factor Four Magazine back in 2023, and it remains one of my favorites. It’s got coffee and demons. What more could could you want out of a thousand words? ;)

#flashfiction #writingcommunity

intheflash.substack.com/p/coffee-fie...

My grandfather was #obsessed with immortality, and he collected books on the subject, ancient grimoires penned by madmen. Before he disappeared, he wrote a note in the margins of one called Cthäat Aquadingen. It said, “I have dreamt the answer. I am away to Innsmouth.”

#vss365 #microfiction

Did you know you can shoot a demon to banish it back to hell? You don't even need silver or holy water or an exorcist. Just the right #velocity. A bullet travelling exactly 666 feet per second will disrupt the fiend’s material essence, and back to the hot place it goes.

#vss365 #microfiction

The bodies recovered from the Heaven’s Home compound all had the same, mysterious wound. The #orbital bone was broken outward, as if from great internal pressure. The MEs couldn’t identify the cause of the injury, but all their reports mentioned the faint odor of sulfur.

#vss365 #microfiction

Absolutely counts, and it's a clever way to freshen up a tale of the walking dead. In fact, there's a great little indie zombie film called Pontypool that makes great use of this very thing.

The Monsters the Guidelines Forgot: Zombies How To Write Zombie Stories That Sell

Somehow, I've managed to convince publishers to pay me for short stories featuring vampires, #zombies, and werewolves (oh my). It's always a challenge, but here's how I think I did it with everyone's favorite shambling corpses. :)

#writingcommunity

aerynrudel.substack.com/p/the-monste...

A series of #stellar flares in 1859 had a terrifying though little-known effect. Any vampire created on that night gained immunity to the sun’s rays. The affected fledglings were destroyed, but rumors of “dawn-born” that escaped the culling persist to these very nights.

#vss365 #microfiction

There’s a common misconception that demons trick folks into infernal bargains, but it’s not true. Evil doesn’t carry the same taint if it’s committed by accident or without full consent. Nah, for the soul rot to take hold, you gotta sin #knowingly AND enthusiastically.

#vss365 #microfiction

Many of the canopic jars in the tomb of an unnamed pharaoh bore a spidery #crazing where the ceramic had started to crack. Others had burst open from the inside, and the trails leading into the depths of the pyramid glistened, fresh and wet, in the light of our lanterns.

#vss365 #microfiction

Most vampires begin their unlives living by a code of rigid ethics they believe will preserve their humanity. As the nights pile up, the truth becomes #blatantly obvious. Humanity is for humans. You either embrace that fact or find a quiet place to watch the sun rise.

#vss365 #microfiction

It don’t take much to turn people #beastly. Scare ‘em, starve ‘em, remove the guardrails that make folks civilized, and you’ll get a pack of monsters overnight. Of course, some were monsters all along. They were just waiting for the world to go to shit so they could shine.

#vss365 #microfiction

Shadow Can Remember kids, don't talk to shadows

Hey, folks, In the Flash is my new substack where I’ll be showcasing my published flash fiction and maybe some unpublished stuff, too. This first story, “Shadow Can” was published back in 2014 by The Molotov Cocktail. Check it out.

#horror #flashfiction

intheflash.substack.com/p/shadow-can...

The patent office has a kind of X-files department to review applications that may have supernatural origins. They can be hard to detect, but not always. The application for a #bounce house made of licorice submitted by Wickwich Candies raised pretty immediate red flags.

#vss365 #microfiction

As a game warden in the #enchanted forest, it’s my job to make sure that hunting limits are observed. No more than six knights per dragon per season, no more than four charmed male servants per nymph, and absolutely no more than two humans of edible size and age per troll.

#vss365 #microfiction

Card counting isn’t cheating. It’s math. Of course, Despite the #miniscule edge, the house’ll still back you off. Now, if you’re a precog, you don’t need math. You can SEE the next card in the deck, the dealer’s hole card, and when the casino’s goons are coming for you.

#vss365 #microfiction

When humans want to be discreet about their amorous affairs, they say don’t #kiss and tell. Monsters have similar sayings about who they’ve recently killed and/or eaten. Vampires say don’t bite and brag. Werewolves, don’t hunt and howl. Demons, don’t damn and declare.

#vss365 #microfiction

Every grimoire is an imperfect translation, an attempt to bridge the #lacuna between the known and the unknowable. Invoking the entities within is like stumbling through a cave with a candle. The darkness beyond your feeble light is vaster than you can possibly imagine.

#vss365 #microfiction

Closet monsters and underbed horrors have boogeymen of their own. They fear St. Lucia Lumen, patron saint of bedtime. She can be invoked to make blankets proof against fangs and claws or to bless a nightlight so that it banishes the #dark and all that reside within it.

#vss365 #microfiction

Inspired by, though not based on, this giant goober. Twenty-five pounds of fearful floof terrified of his own shadow. lol

When I was a kid, I had a big orange cat named Switcheroo. During the day, he was all purrs and snuggles. At night, though, his eyes went from green to gold, and he took up his post at the end of my bed. My little lion who hissed at the slithering #dark, and the dark retreated. #vss365 #microfiction

There’s a little-known chivalric order that requires those seeking knighthood to sneak up on a sleeping dragon, #touch it’s snout, and escape with their lives. The order is little known primarily because they’ve failed to promote a squire to knight in almost thirty years.

#vss365 #microfiction

One of the Van Helsing Society's best sniffers—that's someone who can detect supernatural entities—gets specific #aches and pains when specific monsters are nearby. Toothache? Vampires. Headache? Zombies. Itchy skin? Lycanthropes. Heart burn? Yeah, you guessed it. Demons.

#vss365 #microfiction