Jen Clarke

Holy shit the coolest thing just happened to me

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The only downside of Costco’s executive hour is my lack of appetite for 9 a.m. hotdogs.

My kid threw up in Costco today. Right in front of a sample table. Several customers just, like, stepped over me to get samples while I was on my hands and knees trying to wipe up all the curdled milk and undigested grapes. Kid is fine but I guess we have to switch to Sam’s Club now.

Flashing back to the bad old days when Chris Wallace would come on Verno’s show every week talking about FLEXIBILITY

Knicks now have like all of my favorite non-Grizzlies so I’m riding with them until the hometown team stops breaking my heart

Absolutely. I’m actually considering launching my own podcast critique podcast.

There are too many podcasts.

Excuse me Grizzlies what the fuck?

Everything is terrible but Clipse is performing on my television in 2026

If we’re at war with protein I’m pretty sure protein is the aggressor. At least as far as my tummy’s concerned.

Whenever I see a black-and-white portrait on Instagram I assume that person has died.

New year, new me is ordering something different at the Mexican restaurant.

Bold to cover “Imagine” on live tv in a sexy baby voice.

Just about every day, I wonder what David Carr or Anthony Bourdain would have written about at least five topics

Hey brands, we don’t need a yearly recap of everything.

He only just found out about it literally moments ago. He’s very busy. Anyway next question.

They say “end the Democratic Party as we know it” like that’s a bad thing.

I’m used to Hallelujah covers this time of year, but hearing the original Cohen version on Apple Music “Holiday Hits” followed by Kelly Clarkson was certainly something.

a woman is sitting at a table with a laptop computer and making a funny face . ALT: a woman is sitting at a table with a laptop computer and making a funny face .

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And that was the night my child insisted on wearing jeans to bed.

At MSG an usher will stop you if you try to get up or return to your seat during live ball. Sucked for me at the time because I was pregnant and had to pee every 15 minutes, but definitely a better game experience overall.

No, I don’t care to rate my experience getting a mammogram and I’m not interested in leaving a review after my teeth cleaning. I work in UX and I understand the value of feedback, but the commodification of healthcare is icky enough without all this.

Whoever discovers the remains of our civilization is going to have so many questions.

I keep getting ads for Hamnet and I’m sure it’s great but after the way I open-mouth ugly-cried reading the book I think I’ll save that one for the privacy of my own home.

GTG

So weird how people outsource their decision-making to Reddit. I follow some running gear subs and like 75% of the posts are “should I get this shoe or this one?” Bro I don’t know your feet, just pick one and return it if it doesn’t work out.

Wow I was feeling bad about the Grizzlies but the Kings don’t even look like a team. Just some dudes out there.

I’m the kind of person to use “loath” in a text message and I guess that pretty much sums me up.

J.P. Morgan died in 1913 so I’m interested to see where this leads.