Almost two weeks ago I told my mom that I accepted a job on the other side of the country. Literally the other side of the country.
I had lunch with her 3 days later. She complained about the farm.
About a week ago she called me … To tell me a cow was pregnant.
At least she’s consistent?
Quietly wondering if I’m actually a sociopath.
Your mission location is …. UGANDAAAA!
Salt Lake City airport terminal showing a sign for Orlando departure with the beautiful snow capped mountains in the background.
Listening to Book of Mormon in Salt Lake City, take two!
Orlandoooooooooo!
#bookofmormonmusical
#orlandoiloveyaorlando
#seaworldanddisneyandputtputtgolfing
#hasadigaebowai
How is everyone is southern Oregon so insanely nice?! My east coast ass is hella suspicious.
But also secretly elated. 😏
WTF southern Oregon. Stahp! You’re gonna make me love it here and come back for vacay even if I don’t get this job.
#oregon
#roguevalley
#bigfoot
#sassyquatch
Not to brag but … I was in the line for a rental car and the woman in front of me said “oh let me get out of his way and look for it.”
Meaning me.
She thought I was a boy.
I. Am. Fulfilled.
#nonbinary
#trans
#genderaffirming
#tellmeimagoodboy
If you’re not listening to The Book of Mormon soundtrack while you’re in the Salt Lake City airport, what are you even doing?
#bookofmormonmusical
#saltlakecity
Deciding to start listening to #isaacasimov Foundation and imagine my absolute delight to find it narrated by Scott Brick. I absolutely cannot. He is my FAVORITE audiobook narrator and has been for over 10 years.
Also shout out to @libbyapp.com for being amazing.
#appletvfoundation
#libbyapp
Sometimes I get a little upset when I live in a collapsing dystopia for many years
My dealership sent me a video of them checking my brakes and treads and after each measurement they said “nice job”.
I’ll take it.
#praisekink
#millennial
#tellmeimagoodboy
My travel mug smells like garlic and other Friday the 13th crises.
#coffee
#garlic
#fridaythe13th
Last week I was accused of being a werewolf.
This week I was told that staff were conjecturing as to who might be a vampire and they admitted to thinking I could be one.
Not a regular vampire though.
A cool vampire.
Idk what kind of energy I’m putting out there but here we are.
I just need people to step up off my nuts today.
One of my team accused me of being a werewolf, because the full moon has had me all cranky this week.
Were-opossum maybe.
The desire to scream at my own tail or play dead under my desk to avoid my grown-up sponserbilleries is real.
#fullmoon #werewolf #opossum #possum #playdead #rugrats
I’ve been reading and watching a lot of sci-fi lately.
I take comfort in knowing that 1000 years from now the same shit will still be happening and we will not have learned anything.
#itsfine #thisisfine #everythingisfine #lifesucksandthenyoudie #sciencefiction #scifi #dystopian
Today I renewed my vehicle registration and started my taxes. I simply cannot be expected to do anymore adulting for at least a month.
#adulting #adultingishard #adultingwin #eldermillennial #geriatricmillennial #millennial #thestruggleisreal
I would like to know how much it cost to digitally remove Lee Pace’s navel in Foundation. Like break it down for me as dollars per second for us to gaze on his perfect, navel-less torso. More or less than Cavill’s mustache?
#leepace #appletv #foundation #asimov #henrycavill #justiceleagu
Tbh I’m just here for Beki.
And Lee Pace’s abs.
Mostly Beki.
#beki #foundation #appletv #leepace
My new toxic trait is texting my bestie whenever I’m early to work so she can tell her life partner.
No one really cares whether or not I’m on time. (Well, maybe my boss.)
But it’s become absolutely necessary that I prove to my bestie’s life partner that I can, in fact, do this one thing.
Currently tying my garbage bags like Dexter to throw off my neighbors.
#dexter #dextermorgan #totallynotaserialkiller
Guess who has two thumbs and is still holding onto a lot of unresolved trauma from 2001 even though they thought they were over all of it?
An absolute crime. Agreed.
I never watched AFIN when it aired because I was so devastated by everything that summer. I was struggling with mental health, my best friend had died, there was some SA that I experienced, and then my favorite show ending. I just couldn’t watch it. And tbh I’m not sure if I ever did later on.
She’s been kicking up so much dust lately. Angry. Unsettled. Pained. And so I’ve been giving her what she needs to have some safety here. But the closer I get to that last episode the more riled up she seems.
We’re gonna face this.
Fucking #emdr and #xena man.
Gonna heal that kid.
[thread] Closing in on the last three episodes of my Xena rewatch.
25 years ago everything just collided in one awful thing after another. I was in so much pain by the end of that summer, and then the whole world upended right after.
I’ve been trying to soothe that part of me.
I really struggled with Hannah Whitten’s Nightshade series until this 3rd book. I’m not sure what it was —
But the ending was worth it. I’m glad I stuck it out.
The world is terrifying and religion is a traumatic, hate-filled shitshow.
But people can be kind. There is goodness despite it all.
Just read a tattoo subreddit post about a guy who's tried tattooing his scrotum not once, not twice, but THREE TIMES to get that tattoo to stick.
Like.
I can’t even show up for work on time most days.
#reddit
#redditposts
#tattoos
#adulting
A very young Selma Blair in a ribbed blue sweater, short brown hair, with a caption “you eat horses?”
How did I forget Selma Blair was in an episode of Xena and then subsequently in a short-lived spinoff “Amazon High” …
WILD.
#xenawarriorprincess #amazonhigh
#selmablair
#wtf
Me, shouting, after FINALLY solving today’s Wordle: That’s fucking dirty Wordle! Who tf is out here using that word in real life?
Also me, quietly: But it is Christmas. So I guess … it’s fine.
NYT out here unlocking my religious trauma this morning.
