PhliM

Too fucking right

This is the warning on the blood pressure monitor my dad just got.

Exceptional work. Anybody know what the fuck it’s supposed to mean?

Last line is especially ominous

Wow, Americans turned their clocks forward but we don't change ours in the UK until the end of the month! And they pronounce "tomato" as "elevator", and their word for "trousers" is "sidewalk"! So much for the special relationship! Also their government is a bunch of fascists.

👇👇👇👇

Morecambe face regulator inquiry over banned executive National League club likely to be investigated after appointing a COO implicated in Ponzi scheme that left investors £37million out of pocket

Oh look: hiring a COO who's banned by a financial regulator for involvement in a fraud actually is a big deal.
www.thetimes.com/sport/footba...

Another arrivals board with a set of migratory birds arriving in the UK later in the spring. The background is dark teal, with "Arrivals" in green. Arriving in April: Nightingale, Reed Warbler, Whinchat, Lesser Whitethroat, House Martin. Arriving April–May: Garden Warbler, Turtle Dove, Cuckoo, Arctic Tern, Common Tern. Arriving in May: Swift, Spotted Flycatcher, Nightjar. These birds mainly arrive in April and May, with some late arrivals like the Swift and Nightjar appearing in May.

An airport style arrivals board showing migratory birds arriving in the UK. The background is dark teal, with "Arrivals" in green at the top. Bird names are in orange, and arrival times in green. Arriving March–May: Wheatear. Arriving March–April: Sand Martin, Chiffchaff, Osprey, Swallow, Ring Ouzel, Blackcap. Arriving in April: Willow Warbler, Tree Pipit, Redstart, Sedge Warbler, Whitethroat, Pied Flycatcher. Arriving April–May: Yellow Wagtail. Most birds start arriving from March, with peak arrivals in April and some extending into May.

It’s springtime and migratory birds are on the move! 🌍

Have you seen any of our fair-weather friends arriving? Stay tuned: we'll be shining a daily spotlight on our spring returnees.

Check out the Arrivals Board to see who's flying in and when... 👇

#SpringArrivalSpotlight

This godforsaken idiot piece of shit.

Crude oil prices, showing a very sharp increase in the last day, from around 65 to 101 dollars per barrel..

Oil prices wouldn't be all over the news today if more of our economy was powered by local, secure renewable energy.

This isn't an "energy crisis". It's a fossil fuel crisis.

44% of UK electricity came from renewables in 2025. More of that plus an electrified economy => no more oil shocks.

Benjamin and Henry visit the Victoria and Albert Museum YouTube video by Three Bean Salad Podcast

youtu.be/SBbMHnTnIxQ

British military intelligence has already sent the recovered components to a laboratory in the United Kingdom for further analysis.

It is reported that the attack was carried out by Hezbollah militants in Lebanon.

Source: The Times

❗️The kamikaze drone that struck the British airbase RAF Akrotiri in Cyprus was equipped with Russian military hardware.

The drone contained a Russian-made Kometa-B navigation system, which was first identified in drones intercepted by Ukrainian air defenses in December.

>> 5000 times

2030 Is Closer Than You Think | In the Car with the Climate Minister YouTube video by Everything Electric TECH

For very long term viewers of my disjointed output, here's a Carpool flashback with a difference, Katie White, MP, Climate Minister, drives me around in her electric Fiat 500.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Xe8...

love how we killed the old, frail anti-nuke ayatollah just to have him replaced with his young, healthy son who wants nukes and who just had his father, mother, wife, and child murdered on the same day by his mortal enemy. surely this will bring peace to the region

I baulk at writing "more authentic," because there won't be one traditional recipe

Also by Hannan: “the blue eyed sheiks” of Icelandic Banking will save us (2004). Brexit will be a huge success and we won’t leave the single market (2016) “Covid won’t kill you” (2020)

"it is becoming increasingly hard to avoid the conclusion that the Trump administration has embarked on this operation without a plan, and is making it up as it goes along, as if they killed enough of the right people and destroyed enough Iranian assets everything would fall into place"

You showed 'em

WARNING! Saw some local youths in the park operating as blackmarket bookmakers to scam gullible passers-by so I decided to teach them a lesson. They're offering 5,000-1 on Brazil to win the 2174 World Cup. That's way overpriced so I placed €100 on it. They're going to feel like fools in 148 years!

Nostalgia is a weapon. You don’t miss the early 2000s, you miss being a stupid child. You want to be stupid again. You want your parents to take care of you. You are 12.

😆

Scene is a suburban street. A green RANGE ROVER is parked on the kerb. We see two men approach it. We'll call them MAN 1 and MAN 2. MAN 1 [showing Man 2 the Range Rover] So yeah here it is 59,000 on the clock Nice racing green MAN 2: Looks lovely MAN 1: It's got the heated seats, auto headlights [Man 2 looks in the front seat] MAN 2: Really nice [man 2 now opening the back door] MAN 1: Reverse camera, air quality sensor Leather upgrade - MAN 2: What's that? MAN 1: What  MAN 2: There's something on the back seat there  [we now see what he is looking at on the back seat. it is the tiny, shrivelled, calcified form of ANDREW MOUNTBATTEN WINDSOR, claw-like hands laced, his tiny body all grey, his hunted eyes glowing red] MAN 1: I can't see anything. MAN 2: You've got Andrew Mountbatten Windsor MAN 1: That's just light wear MAN 2: It's not light wear mate, it's the former Prince  It's completely ingrained in the leather [he scratches disdainfully at the melted form of the royal wraith] MAN 2: Is this why you didn't show the back seat on the listing? MAN 1: It's a design feature. MAN 2: I've come down from Suffolk mate. [Ends]

Just watched Adam Richman Eats Italy on some food channel. The episode on Genoa has a bit on pesto

Kuenssberg: "And of course, you're BOTH right, that Starmer, wha' a cunt eh?"

Satire really is impossible in the US now

Stephen Fry: “I’m deeply worried by the darkening shadow that’s going over the world, a shadow that we have to call fascism”

Laura Kuenssberg: “You would use that word?”

Stephen Fry: “Oh absolutely. It’s a cult of power; and power only speaks to power”

#bbclaurak

There is literally no point helping Donald Trump. He will shit on you if you help and he will shit on you if you don't. There is no point taking any of his demands into account. Best to try to do the right thing