LBelle

I have the same reaction. How did he pass junior high? And this is the result of a private boarding school education, not the Trump-vilified public school system.

I always knew I’d grow up to be awake in the middle of the night

Being an adult is about finding these 3 things:

1. Purpose
2. Meaning
3. Pain medicine

Sleep perchance to stay asleep.

The whole ass, if you will.

Ever since I was a small boy I knew I wanted to pay higher prices for things

If everyone left with her, there would be no one offering resistance during the rest of his town hall. That would leave exactly the audience he was hoping for.

you grow up thinking life will be like a game of chess but instead it’s just hungry hungry hippos

starting my new life as a bon vivant

There’s been a terrible accident involving me and my mouth again.

I don't want to alarm anyone, but reliable sources say a large caravan of penguins is headed toward our Southern border. 🐧

“I’m just not feelin’ it today.” - everyday forever

Idk if I can make it. Got a fool’s errand around 3

Not seeing a lot of WWJD bracelets around these days.

I'm sorry I'm like this, I've never been me at this point in my life before

Wait. Smurfs weren’t cool? I’ve spent years resenting my mom for selling my mushroom cottages at a yard sale. All for nothing.

What the hell is wrong with my GenXers who morphed into Baby Boomers? We were raised to be feral and that's who we should always be.

“This is not a prank show. This is real life. And you’re not the main character.” So many people need to hear this!

When seasonal depression closes a door, it opens a window for seasonal allergies

I can tell that Spring is almost here because I'm filled with rage, but I also want to plant flowers.

I Probably Shouldn’t Have Said That
~a memoir

You mean the same things he said about VP Harris?

I don't want to go all political on here but, I am not pleased with any of this *waves wildly at everything* At all!

imagine having the kind of energy it takes to do things

People who ask me for something “at your soonest convenience” have no idea how perpetually inconvenienced I am.

Seeing her this evening and I can’t wait!

This Sunday, the whole country needs to spring forward from 1939.

I still go out to listen to my favourite music.

It's just now it's playing at the grocery store, not the club.

Every time I accidentally see the news, I have to take my inner child to the bookstore for an overpriced latte and an emotional support book I’ll pretend I have time to read.

In 2 months, America has gone from the cool kid to the kid who eats paste.