tottenham hotspur is trying to kill me

if you score a goal from an offside position that should be an automatic red

i would do unspeakable things for all three points tonight #coys

they must have sold them somewhere in ohare back in the day. hopefully whoever did is now in prison

one time on a flight when we hit cruising altitude the guy next to me pulled out of his carry on bag a foot-long chicago style hot dog. absolutely smothered in relish and mustard. it was 8:30 in the morning

just three (3) days until i am watching an MLB all-star team crush 40 year-old brazilians in sunny 80° weather

he didn't fuck the alien it was just nonconsensual groping

wisconsin:

john roberts after a solid week of basking in "maybe he's not a hack" headlines

senior white house advisor maester qyburn vociferously denying that the president contracted greyscale while at davos

nonzero chance trump kept the real medal and this is the one they were going to give to a retiring TSA dog

@jackpittbrooke.bsky.social did spurs finally kill danny

if you are also a childless millennial who has at some point grappled with the decision to not have kids then i cannot recommend IF I HAD LEGS I'D KICK YOU strongly enough for validation

for what feels like the millionth time spurs have lost 2-1 where the opponent scored (1) a goal that should have 100% been disallowed and (2) an absolute worldie. we call that the "tottenham special"

tammy "dick's worse"

i think it's amazing how, with copiliot enabled, all my microsoft applications take 400% longer to open. the future is here

milhouse ass vp

"...and if claude can shoot down an incoming icbm, wouldn't it make equal sense to let claude kill the folks who shot the icbm? or domestically surveil and kill people that we suspect are aligned with them? is that really so unreasonable of us?"

A coyote sitting on the rocks at Thorndale beach

good morning to everyone especially this coyote at thorndale beach

maybe if the bulls knocked joel embiid out of the play-in tournament

strongly considering writing a psychological crime drama about a brilliant male detective who is also battling his own demons

catherine keener with genuinely one of the sexiest performances ever put to film

The ass-to-ass guy

if law enforcement officers burst into your home guns blazing without any cause you better pray they are local police (potentially millions in damages available) and not feds (tough shit, deal with it)

Screenshot of a Guardian article "Spurs plan to rip up wage structure and invest in squad if club avoid relegation"

i plan to stop eating like shit if i don't get diabetes

ellis burks is absolutely a BSB

yeah i work for the FBI

Flying with the
Boys
Incessantly

guys will literally argue over who was or was not a proper "blake street bomber" instead of go to therapy

for the third straight olympics my father-in-law won gold in the "unproductive text message exchange" event

if donald trump - who reads so well and has read everything there is to read about tariffs, and then some - got this one wrong, that is very concerning. what chance do we have?