My Name is Not a Christmas Pun

This cunt 🤦🤦🤦

No mummy to bail you out this time, nonce boy

Oh, the grand old duke of york
He ██████████████████
He ██████████████████
And he ██████████████████

“I’ve reviewed over 50 sticky toffee puddings” is an incredibly powerful way to begin a video

I refuse to comment on whether I immediately checked the site and ended up ordering a ginger one, because I am an adult and therefore definitely possess excellent impulse control

a meme — the top says “My dog just got a haircut and now he looks like he gave up drinking and got his life together” and underneath are 2 photos of a dog (a schnauzer i think?). on the left, the “before,” he’s scruffy and in need of a haircut and a bath. and on the right, the “after,” he’s clean and clipped and wearing a jaunty red bow tie and looking very dapper indeed.

i don’t know if it’s the jaunty bow tie or what but i cannot stop laughing at this

Seconded! I really enjoyed the first two and book three is sat in the TBR pile (with about a million others book but hey, TBR pile going to TBR)

I Believe In (Gabby) Jesus

Day 3 with no water

I genuinely don't think Frank is the problem at Spurs, it's convenient to have a new manager that can be blamed for a much deeper malaise in that squad that last season's cup win is papering over

Grok, the Child Porn Generator, Should Be Illegal X, the child porn company formerly known as Twitter, is now removing the clothes of women and children with photos on the site on behalf of its users. I first joined Twitter in December 2015. Deeply ...

For my newsletter this morning, I called for a ban on Grok after X, the child porn app formerly known as Twitter, started removing the clothes of women and girls in photos posted on the site. www.burnsnotice.com/grok-the-chi...

Avengers Doomsday is going to be a billion dollar confession that the MCU is entirely creatively bankrupt despite decades upon decades of source material and characters, and it's going to make more money than you'd ever believe

my friend is looking for someone to help her build a website! It’s not for profit, it’s to help folks in her home country obtain basic infrastructure. pls hit me up if you’re interested in or have time for a charitable project :) tysm!

Ok, finally got round to catching a showing of One Battle After Another and....yeah that's a fucking masterful piece of work by PTA and all the cast

One of the best to ever do it

If you must know after about 10 minutes of silent self loathing stood in front of a wall of white wine wondering if I was actually going to burst into tears I grabbed a bottle of grüner I also like then came home and ordered a case of the aforementioned chenin blanc at a huge markup online

And honestly I don't know how I became this person stood in a Sainsbury's wine aisle having a silent personal meltdown triggered by fucking wine. Ever since my dad dropped dead on Christmas this has been a weird time of year for me but seriously what the fuck, Chris?

Sainsbury's are out of stock of a chenin blanc I have been *loving* for a while now - to the point I might need to acknowledge my part in their being out of stock - but finding out it was out of stock I had a proper "Oh what's even the point of anything" moment

Ah. The gummy has kicked in during the bedtime scroll. This should go well

I can't/won't do that but I have been working on a plan to extinguish the light of the sun you might be interested in

Why do I randomly end up on my discover feed and not my following feed? This doesn't help me sleep at a reasonable time

How many times have you rewatched The Terror this year, Ewa? There's only so much time left in the year, Ewa. I know this isn't helping

if you don't have the moral clarity necessary to rawdog a basket of fries by yourself we aren't compatible

An essential development over the past decade-plus is that the ignorant went from feeling chastened when their ignorance was revealed to banding together and deciding that, actually, they were right. They might disagree at times, but they agreed that ignorance itself was an indicator of trust.

I tried to imagine it, but all I saw was burning buildings accompanied by disembodied laughter

100%. The two friends you know would get on amazingly but you deliberately keep separate for the safety and sanity of all in the general vicinity

I've always been a fox man myself, but coyote definitely a strong choice on the mythical-trickster-who-probably-isn't-evil-but-if-you-don't-watch-your-ass-it-will-feel-like-they're-kind-of-evil-as-they-fuck-with-you scale