Stefan

But why $5.00 and not $4.28?

Pop-tarts are optimised for low ping.

"Denise runs a business selling ornamental angels made from dove feathers. Her husband Richard works 'in finance'. They have a budget of ten million."

As far as I am aware, "extraction shooters" have something to do with abnormal dentistry.

"Chinese fried rice is a family of fried rice dishes popular in Greater China and around the world. It is sometimes served as the penultimate dish in Chinese banquets, just before dessert. The earliest record of fried rice is found in the Sui dynasty (589–618 CE). Though the stir-frying technique used for fried rice was recorded in a much earlier period, it was only in the late Ming dynasty (1368–1644 CE) that the technique became widely popular."

Sui dynasty chef: Try this. I took cooked rice, then cooked it again.

Customer: Not bad, but it could take a thousand years or so before anyone else will want some.

"BUILDING used SEISMIC TOSS."

Out of context, architectural massing diagrams can seem amusingly odd.

ICP: rappers.
The Joker: foppish thief.
Pennywise: terroriser of New Englanders.
Krusty: crass, aging misanthrope.
Ronald McDonald: spokesman for the zionist hamburger trade.

The lesson here is that if you desire success as a clown, actual circus skills are quite irrelevant.

The Swedish embassy has its own diplomatic traffic cones.

"Yes, my darling child is bilingual: at the age of one he said 'guerre guerre', which is French for 'war, war'."

It must be a rarity for anyone to be bilingual before nursery.

A few streets away:

Organic, and surprisingly cheap to produce.

Nine out of ten builders cannot tell the difference.

"Sweet Jesus Pooh, that isn't Nutella!"

Imagine training bears—Italian or otherwise—as Chocolatiers.

A convenient thoroughfare, if a trifle narrow.

Would you pass Percy's Passage?

Equivalently, kebab meat and chips for the most rustic of gammons.

Steak-frites but free from any semblance of Gallic sophistication.

They use generic chickens to spare the public purse.

What is your favourite type of chicken and fries? Mine is NHS.

All the hotels in Mayfair have been moved to this one location especially.

They built a life-sized Capitalist Nexus from the popular educational boardgame; "Do Not Build The Capitalist Nexus".

Dwight's place could use a new coat of paint.

By my count, two standard spheres and a third deluxe one.

This play area was built by an alien civilisation trying to ascertain the human form by pure guesswork.

Gone are the days of carrying assortments of dressed leaves in our pockets or bare fists.

The Dark Age has finally ended.

Middle-managers are trying to advertise water.

A PSA:

"Good enough" is hard to justify given the state of tuition fee repayments.

Goodenough College has closed after the "enough" deterred too many prospective students.

Can high-street stores sell units of time?

But that is a shop, not a day.

A veritable "hit" with customers.

Yes, one clobber please.

Trying to navigate a cherry-picker around Holborn Circus is not the most stealthy of operations.

Only forty-nine remain.

A billboard for this season's new shade of grey:

A work in progress, one must note.

The temperature is in double digits: Paul has declared it is time to build a gazebo in his front yard.

Without comparable infrastructure, of course.

We are fast approaching "Place, Japan" levels of blossom.

Residents of the yard are reportedly keen not to intermingle.

Never the twain shall meet.