Fiona G

I’m somebody’s mum and I’m proud of you x

Time marches on, but nothing makes me feel more grateful that our kids are grown up than seeing World Book Day posts.

Enjoy their childhood, soak it all in, but thank goodness we’re done with that stage 😂

A ham-fisted depiction - rendered as a faux-football sticker - of Scotland footballer Gordon Strachan trying and failing to clamber over a 'Camel Cigarettes' advertising hoarding after scoring a goal. The stylised camel on the hoarding rolls it's eyes.

9️⃣8️⃣ more days of posting a poorly drawn World Cup moment every day until the tournament kicks-off or until we forget to post one

Today: it's 1986, and Scotland's wee Gordon Strachan scores against West Germany, then tries and fails to vault the advertising hoardings in celebration. He styles it out.

We had one year when we sent our kids in Star Wars gear. They were being little shits and were absolutely adamant they could wear SW stuff because they had SW books in their room. It caused a blazing row and I eventually gave in. I’m still angry about it, approx 8 years later.

Little shits.

Steam community requesting additional body types for added immersion.

A large block of sentient tofu

Steam community: “Can we play as a male character?”

Me (indie dev in this economy):
“Best I can do is sentient tofu.”

I hope as Tommy Robinson flees Dubai he settles in the first safe country he arrives in

Influencer's fleeing Dubai right now.

As boards of peace go, this one's got off to a poor start.

Gorton & Denton by-election, 2026 Source: Britain Elects SIAIS r EFTIES Green GAIN from Labour 40.7 28.7 25.4 1.9 1.8 Grn 427.5 Ref 414.6 Lab 725.4 Con 76.0 Lib 72.0 1.4 Oth 78.9

Starmer:

“If you don’t like our policies you can leave.”

Voters:

I see what you did there 😁

huge couple of weeks for hilarious photos of mortified men.

Can mum-in-law be included? #Mums26
My wonderful MiL Jane Gibson died last May aged 74. She loved the Lake District ❤️

John Davidson Gives First Interview and Explains Tourette’s Tics After Shouting N-Word and Other Slurs at BAFTAs: ‘I Felt a Wave of Shame’ (EXCLUSIVE) John Davidson's explains Tourette's tics and the BAFTA N-word incident in his first exclusive interview with Variety.

Fantastic interview. Everyone should read it:

After weeks of constant rain there’s nothing like a bright sunny day to make me realise my windows are fucking filthy.

I know I buy far too many books but I like to think that lining the walls of my house with them wards off evil in some deeply important way.

Note from my notebook (2016). Nothing has changed.

There were more viewers of the curling last night than Britain’s Got Talent.

Britain's Best Winter Games: 5 medals, beating socha, pyongchang and chamoix

Lovely

"Andrew wailed 'I'm the queen's son' as he was marched out of Windsor"

Roses are red,
Lobsters have pincers

Farage does a publicity stunt where he pretends he was trying to visit the Chagos Islands.

There are many reasons for this. It's not a tourist destination, a permit is required in advance of travel, only yachts with pre-arranged mooring are allowed in and it may just be that they didn't let him in because he's a cunt.
All of which he will have been aware of. Especially that last part.

Does anyone know why there’s such a big gap between the Winter Olympics and Paralympic Games? I’m watching the last day of the olympics today but the paralympics don’t start until 6th March. Seems like a wasted opportunity to capitalise on the enthusiasm and interest 🤷🏻‍♀️

This is it. I’m a Christian, I believe that Jesus Christ talked about loving everyone regardless of race, religion, gender or any other difference. Homophobia hidden behind Christianity is a lie.

Andrew, a paedo cyborg rabbit on ketamine

Solicitor: Okay, today's not been good for us. But it's not terminal yet. The car will drive out of here, we'll go somewhere safe & work out our strategy. I need one thing from you. There'll be a million cameras out there so whatever you do, don't look like a paedo cyborg rabbit on ketamine.
Andrew:

PIZZA EXPRESS BOOK A CELEBRATION

What's so amazing about Jim Henson as a puppeteer is that he could literally be explaining that Kermit is made out of felt and ping pong balls and yet Kermit still feels alive the whole time he's doing it

Cat: “I cannot convey to you just how much I genuinely despise this food.”
Me: “Here, have this instead.”
Cat: “OMG I LOVE IT.”
Me: “It’s exactly the same bowl of food. I just took it away for six seconds then put it back in the same place.”
Cat: “I am fire and the wind. Do not attempt to know me.”

I’m a perimenopausal woman with chronic pain. I am definitely T: KEEP CLEAR OF ME

That’s so like Scotland. First time we qualify in 28 years and it’s cancelled 😂

a man wearing a top hat and bow tie is eating a chocolate bar . ALT: a man wearing a top hat and bow tie is eating a chocolate bar .

Watching the round table on Traitors tonight.