Sharkey 2.0

I guess they unbanned my original account at some point? Imma just keep this one in my back pocket for the next time it happens I guess.

buddy is smarter than he looks, but only cus it'd be impossible to be stupider

I only deal with neighbors on fae rules. Like, if you want your cat back leave six chicken and three duck eggs in the mushroom circle and I'll let him back out at moonrise.

They couldn't make a game like Xenogears today, but they couldn't back then either.

I'm the same way until I find out that like, there's a lantern cat named Dex Starr whose whole thing is he's Big McFuckin Mad cus his mom died

... from fifteen? original col-o-nies 🎶

ngl this is so on brand I actually want it

Civ 1 on Super Nintendo probably

can't believe they got fucked with these

That makes a lot of sense in retrospect. Man, just got flashbacks to Xizor, the dude with sweat that makes you horny drunk.

Yeah, I heard that. It was only like a 10k fee or something. I don't think it's a coincidence that they started making the prequels right after that.

Back in the day I had preview copies of fire red and leaf green and I sent the nephew to school with them to test out the wireless adapter and realized oh shit I'm the proverbial uncle that works at Nintendo.

And also that was really stupid and I could have been in deep shit.

Worth it.

I always thought he was just waiting for Kenner to let the toy rights lapse so he could get a quarter on the dollar instead of a nickel.

There's no better revenge on siblings than their kids thinking you're the coolest shit in the universe and declaring that they're also going to live in a bus and get paid to play videogames and read comic books.

overhearing the kids talking about the sans fight in undertale and I just blurted out "you'd have to be some kind of dick to want to fight sans" and their mortification followed by excitement was exactly like when I had a couple of hispanic coworkers and they realized I could understand spanish

nice build what shaders are you using

I'm gonna do robberies wearing a domino mask and prison stripes while carrying a big sack with a dollar sign on it so anyone who gives a description sounds like a crazy asshole.

The manual is all "turn these knobs in exactly this position and then turn on the pumps"

okay done

"... but not before throwing this switch or it will throw hot shit everywhere and electrocute you"

*dead, covered in hot shit*
Well, fuck.

Unliked this so I could like it twice.

A motor home parked in the desert, in front are some trashy flamingoes, a pair of deck chairs, a garishly painted dresser with some flowers and a ridiculous metal duck on top, and a webber grill.

gonna drink beer on my beach all day like a lazy piece of garbage

Happy got borned day eventually!

I need to get thear Hudson Hawk novelization to nestle somewhere between a lament configuration and a behelit in a trunk of cursed bullshit

every child has a Rem Lezar

a giant viper devouring the earth. It is captioned "happening right now"

oh thank god

I was shooting the shit with Phil LaMarr about hot sauce or something when he got a real distant look and when I followed his eyeline everyone was watching my ex eat a whole chocolate cake in one bite like some kind of snake.

Fucking around on Hinge like no, I really just want someone to watch cartoons and play videogames with. No, I'm like fifty. Yes, I know what twitch is. Listen, do you like Adventure Time? Also, do you have a car? I want to firebomb a concentration camp... Hello? ... Hello?

I love how if you wake up and take a slug of whiskey it's a problem, but if you have a glass of chardonnay by the pool at noon it's cute. Anyway I'm doing both.

I'm just saying if you let me run this shit like dwarf fortress things would be better. But that bar is in hell, and it totally won't unleash an endless shitstorm of demons on the world when we dig it up. Super pinky swear.

I want a compassionate, enlightened society where state sanctioned death and torture is anathema. Right up until the moment you break that covenant and deny someone's right to exist, and then the gloves come the fuck off and you get han solo'd in a gallery of shitheads under the lincoln memorial.