raymz

Your job is to pick the worst actor to play James Bond

Is it “the monkey that...” or “the monkey who...”? Anyway, he killed my dad

[whispering into a pillow while encased in a coffin] she was not a serious challenger for a Texas senate seat and it’s probably for the best that she lost to someone with at least some hope of winning a race that will largely be decided on cultural rather than policy issues because DUH it’s Texas

Oh god. They breed

Don’t you just love living in a dangerous autocratic dystopia under the rule of a galaxy level dumbass

I love living in a dangerous dystopia under the rule of a galaxy level dumbass

I am fully convinced that if you do that peekaboo thing people do with babies to Trump he will literally think you disappeared

Rubio: “Let me tell you, Iran is run by lunatics, religious fanatic lunatics.”

If only the founders had thought to specify that cabinet officers, apart from requiring senate confirmation, could not be loud oily maniac drunkards

Comically incompetent shitbirds

Only an egotistical dunce would sit down for an interview with Chotiner because to do so is to hang a "kick me" sign on your own back

“The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of hand” is a quote that I desperately wish would not come to mind as frequently as it does these days

Happy birthday, Kendraaaaaa!! 🎈🍾

It’s tempting to think this is a historical outlier, during which a tiny cabal of weird fanatics have seized the reins of power. But you’d be wrong. This kind of crazy has always been everywhere in this country, friends, stubbornly and repeatedly attempting to have its moment

I’m not sure announcing that Netanyahu basically dog walked you into attacking Iran is the story you want to be telling the world, chief

Photo of my untossed bbq chicken salad in a bowl with a bottle of bbq sauce and a bottle of ranch dressing standing by

A homemade bbq chicken salad is about to be born

This is the posting equivalent of that drunk racist guy getting smacked in the face with a can of Twisted Tea

Breaking: the angel of death thinks we’ve gone too far

Senator AIPAC weighs in. To think Pennsylvania could’ve had Dr. Oz, merely a quack snake oil salesman, and not this corrupted shambles of a human to represent them

Jesus. All this so we’d all stop talking about him diddling teenagers

Israel, immediately after vaporizing a bunch of little girls:

[taps the sign]

his golf and brain worm riddled mind thinks the supreme court allows mulligans

Landlords. They innovated "being landlords", you credulous dunces

you can even get the parts that butchers usually throw away for free

RIP