‘twas the night before International Women’s Day and all through the house, not a woman was stirring because they’re all being forced to get up obscenely early to go to breakfasts where they don’t actually get to eat nor complain about not eating
and for the lady, perhaps a respite from the ✨calamitous screaming✨?
these are the people we’re expecting to parse the nuances of AI
at London Zoo today, in the pygmy hippo enclosure, looking at the pygmy hippo asleep under a sign that says “this is the pygmy hippo” and a guy says to his wife, “oh the hippo isn’t even here, that’s a statue” HUH??
They won't start with banning birth control. First they'll lie about it. Then dictate who can prescribe it, use it, fund it, in what forms, and for how long. Suddenly, your doctor won't call you back. I know this is what they'll do because it's what they're doing to transgender healthcare right now.
A graphic promoting the latest episode of Autistic Women Oversharing, a Daily Tism podcast, depicting the Autistic Women Oversharing logo with the caption: "Series 2, Episode 7: Sensory icks with Grace Jarvis".
Coming this Thursday - @gracejarvisohno.bsky.social is back to chat about our most heinous sensory icks, why standup gigs for Autism Parents are a trap, & the hidden dangers of door-to-door onion salesmen.
muuuuum they’re accusing me of contributing to the downfall of society again!
pretending to be a branch by pointing my chin towards the sky and closing my eyes
🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝 @thedailytism.com
girl math is buying something expensive and then using/wearing it a lot so that the cost per use/wear becomes as low as possible and boy math is getting catastrophically addicted to sports gambling and then killing your family
with Valentine’s Day approaching we’re about to see an influx of my favourite kind of post in which a couple commemorates a relationship that’s less than a year old by going, “we’ve been through so many ups and downs” how many could there be?? it’s been 6 months? maybe break up!
this toilet can’t be separated from its bonded partner
grid of faces of acts (good) with YouTube specials (good) who have also done ACMS (v. good)
AHOY-HOY! We have updated our list of free comedy specials on YouTube
noblefailure.org/specials
to include newness from @andrewoneillcomedy.bsky.social, Catherine Bohart and Rosie Jones, alongside @abigoliah.bsky.social, @brainmage.bsky.social, @gracejarvisohno.bsky.social, @joznorris.bsky.social...
why do I feel so odd and unsettled? could it be because I’ve been switching between the audiobooks for Heated Rivalry, The Holocaust Industry by Norman G. Finkelstein and Dire Straits’ debut album Dire Straits all day?
people who say things like, “we didn’t have all this autism/ADHD/trans people back in my day?” make me want to get the “instances of left-handedness over time” graph printed and distributed like a business card
sheep really dig their big one with lanolin those guys are really onto something
I accidentally left my beautiful, brand new woollen hood on the bus on its second ever outing because I was so tired after work and I’m just crying because I feel stupid
Bugs Bunny over here
I’m writing creative non-fiction about all the dead dogs in my life on substack open.substack.com/pub/gracejar...
this year I’m gonna put aside more time to spend on my true passion which is using the word “ahoy!”
my New Year’s resolution is to have made better choices in adolescence
This is exciting, Grace is booked in for the first #ACMS of the New Year and we've never had a mighty oak on the bill before. (Just logs. Obvs.)
in the year 2026 I will be transforming into a large and formidable oak tree
hope you have cheeses for those meeces because they’re fuckin coming for you
just gave your address to a bunch of mice wearing clothes merry christmas
The Alternative Comedy Memorial Society (ACMS) The Phoenix, Cavendish Sq, by Oxford Circus Monday 12th January 2026, 7:30pm-10:40ish Thom Tuck (MC) + umpteen excellent guests: Alexander Richmond, Andy Barr, Beattie Edmondson, Ciaran Chillingworth, Grace Jarvis, Holly Burn, Jake Baker, Joz Norris, Paul Savage £10, or £6-£12 online, from wegottickets.com £12 at the gig, doors open 7pm noblefailure.org
Come see us* in January wegottickets.com/event/685242/!
Bring any unwanted Christmas presents for the swaps table!
Have an excellent rest of December!
Have a nice time!
HAVE A NICE TIME!
* Inc. @turlygod.bsky.social, @barrstard.bsky.social, @gracejarvisohno.bsky.social, @joznorris.bsky.social, etc
audiobooks, much like bisexuality, are wholly more enjoyable when you stop engaging with whether weirdos on the internet think they “count”
pretty grim that I’ve been sick enough in my life to be able to recognise the difference between a bacterial infection and a viral infection just from how they feel in my body, but it’s fun to have a party trick at the doctors
gaston movie should just be 1.5 hours straight of him being terrorized by eggs
I have been upset by the Grinch’s terrible fluffy fingers my entire life
