🌮 Alacrity's Ghost

it was pointed out that marriage ends- inevitably- one of two ways.

neither are user friendly.

lol... I was more focused on guys messing with drinks- the worst was a bitter divorcee who'd spike guy's drinks with visene (glycerine causes extreme GI discomfort) because:

1: don't poison people
2: somebody has to hose down the head at shift's end.

fun fact- when Shrub went to war in '02 in Iraq & Afghanistan, the bad guys had killed 3,100 Americans in a terrorist act.

by the end, we killed 7,000+ American troops & close to 400,000 civilians.

😶

um... i was a bartender- don't make this weird

American soldiers captured in Iran war, says Tehran official - NewsBreak In a potentially huge development, a Tehran official claims American soldiers have been captured amid the ongoing Middle East conflict.

Worst prisons anywhere.
share.newsbreak.com/hlfmoee7

... 'steal it' ... ok, i'm sober'n miss stuff sometimes 🤦

or worse- drink it 😂

it's kinda sad- I mean their social circle is huge, there are 2 kids, and all that'll get weird- but neither one understands what went wrong 🤦

the goal wasn't to make anything better for anyone- it was to make it as bad as they could for everyone.

Let's just say I don't ever want to hear about a tan suit again. You fucking feel me?

never say "it can only get better"

it suggests it can't get any worse and you know the universe is a 'hold-my-beer' kind of bitch.

ok, to be fair- somebody had to say it and nobody can say it better- SOUND UP 🤣

don’t forget to destroy your clocks tonight, walk away from your mortgage, just start driving, you’re free

spent an hour on the phone w'a bud who's staring at divorce papers- clueless how he got here.

they spent a decade+ competing against each other in everything, taking joy in their partner's failure, and revelling in the 'wins'.

that just don't strike me as a healthy relationship- this'll hurt 🤦

Happy Fuck With Your Kid's/Pet's Schedule Eve to all who celebrate.

a man in a blue suit and red tie is standing in a crowd ALT: a man in a blue suit and red tie is standing in a crowd

every morning, in the mirror...

“you wouldn't happen to have a pipe and a bit of tobacco about, would- I heard that!- gandalf enjoyed a good pipe!

why do you think he's called gandalf the gray? it wasn't for the color of his robes”

― Margaret Weis, Elven Star

hey, I recognized the dialect- no worries

*proper pronunciation made mid-bite

The Vitruvian Man as a visual "gauge" or dial. The different arm angles of the figure correspond to labels along a color-coded arc (green to red), similar to a speedometer: REST – arm down (fully green) PET DOG – slight upward angle PET CHILDREN – moderate angle CALL TAXI – arm nearly horizontal CALL WAITER – arm raised high NAZI – arm fully extended upward at a straight angle (red zone)

Now you know.

the Stanford experiment springs to mind here

i think he's still tryin' to make bail 😂

Um.. There wasn't one- I cheated- I just used one piece of bread to keep the carbs down.

And hi Jana 👋

It evaporated 🤣

I just wanted a half-sammich.

Exuberance won.

Oh, I almost forgot! Grok was asked to roast musky boy today and it's fucking good! 😅🤣😂

I don't & would never use it, but this is funny. Tomorrow Grok will be down for "adjustments." Lol.

evergreen:

a cat standing on a bed with the words how can i help u ALT: a cat standing on a bed with the words how can i help u

😸