Henry Birdseye

New York Times headline that says: Block Cuts 40% of Its Work Force Because of Its Embrace of A.I. (wink wink) Subheader that says: About 4,000 workers will lose their jobs as the payments company does more work with new artificial intelligence tools, its top executive said out of his butt.

ok but what if the NYT were honest about the AI layoffs

Product photo for a product called "Dr. Odum's bug kiss: little lips for bug lovin's" The product image features many images of bugs and human lips

Oh good they made a big version of the bug kisser
www.legboot.com/product/bugk...

Today I had a dream that I got called out in a work meeting for being on Steam and playing something called "Nutty Professor 2049"

mikefossey: Check this shit out motherfucker [I slide one foot out from under me and fall on my ass, its not clear what kind of move I was trying to do] DinkMagic: Ever seen this before [I throw my hat like a frisbee 10 feet away and jump over near it] mikefossey: [I run down a flight of stairs, stop at the second to last step, I pause, and then I jump the last two steps. I do not land it] DinkMagic: [i throw a grape up in the air and open my mouth but i get scared that i breathed in some fluff and start choking violently] mikefossey: [I'm doing a mime act where I pretend to pull on a rope but I somehow accidentally grab a real rope and I pull myself off stage] DinkMagic: [im cooking an omelette and i flip the pan and snatch the omelette out of the air with my hand burning myself] tadaa

mikefossey: [I kick some dust at a guy after losing an argument but the dust flies up into my mouth and I cough so hard I barf] DinkMagic: [my friend says im going to the store toss me your keys but i see a strange bird and instead throw my wallet in the ditch] mikefossey: [guy passes me on the highway and flips me off, I throw a full cup of coffee at my own windshield and it spills all over the car] DinkMagic: [i toss an apple into my elbow-pit to bounce it back out but i miss and try to bite it out of the air but bite my tongue] mikefossey: [I try to throw a beer can into the recycle but it hits the trash can instead and it's still mostly full so it knocks it over] DinkMagic: [2 girls are arguing i say here let me solve this and i flip a gold coin i bought on ebay so hard it breaks a fluorescent tube

mikefossey: [I ask the guy at the store to recommend me a beer and he talks to me for 23 minutes before he realizes i think beer is wine] DinkMagic: [i ask to be excused from dinner to do homework & then phone my mom because i broke my wrist playing street fighter at 7-11] mikefossey: [I bite a gold coin to see if it's real, but it's chocolate. I try to play it cool and eat the whole thing without unwrapping it] DinkMagic: [a teams softball rolls near me] i got this my friends a cuban pitcher [i throw the ball into the back of my own head & faint] mikefossey: Here, let me park for you, Im really good at parallel parking [i walk over to the driver side and slam my dick in the car door] DinkMagic: [i testify under oath that i thought a mortgage was a special kind of measuring tape] mikefossey: [I'm cracking my knuckles and limbering up to fight but then a guy who's on his way to another fight accidentally knocks me over]

DinkMagic: [i ask the butcher for two pounds of boneless chicken Brent] mikefossey: [at a dinner party I lean on the grand piano while telling a story, but the lid is open and I fall into it, hitting every string] DinkMagic: [i get anxious at a fancy bar and order a martini and then say "could you imagine if this was soup" to no one really loud] mikefossey: I try to open a beer with a lighter but I shatter the bottle and cut my hand, and also light my shirt on fire with the lighter] DinkMagic: [i ride up on my new dirtbike revving it, and set the kickstand down on my own foot and start crying] mikefossey: [I get water up my nose while I'm doing the dishes and knock my glasses into the garbage disposal when I go to rub my nose] DinkMagic: [i get angry that I got confused & told an Italian that pizza came from Russia I drive to little Caesars & throw a stone at it

"its not clear what kind of move I was trying to do" is one of my all time favorite tweets, but as a public service I share this tumblr collection of the entire 26-tweet reply chain it was part of (courtesy of haywire4) www.tumblr.com/haywire4/173...

big soft kitty.png

smiling zazzle models, both wearing a yellow t-shirt that says in black text "BUTTER AND EGGS DO NOT HAVE TO BE REFRIGERATED"

oh, hello

(I do not think anyone should actually buy this design but I posted it like 10 years ago)

www.zazzle.com/dont_refrige...

A three panel comic strip: Panel 1: Two characters watch their weird-looking cat, who sits staring into space on the rug. Speaker 1: "Do you think he thinks of us as giant cats?" Panel 2: Close up of the cat's weird blank face. Speaker 2: "I don't think he even thinks of *himself* as a cat". Panel 3: The cat's thoughts. He is an airplane surrounded by meat.

I've played and loved half of these, which means I'm excited to look into the half I'm not familiar with. Thank you for sharing. This list rules

A photo of scattered promotional stickers on a window. The stickers are advertising for a shawarma restaurant. The stickers are black and white, and say things like "shawarma is the sh*t" and "f*cking good falafel". There is a sticker of an illustration knuckle tattoos that say "SHAW" on the left knuckles and "ARMA" on the right knuckles.

Me: mmmm chicken and hummus
this restaurant: dare me to say "bitch"?? 😎

👎👎

dude this sucks. this looks like a fraudulent copy of his work. upon closer inspection it looks like you've attempted a joke but it sucks. it all sucks. "I recreated someone's Bandcamp page using their photos and information" is a shitty joke. be better

websites removing black friday deals for like one day before cyber monday feels like when a band goes backstage before doing an encore. i know what you’re doing back there you fucking dorks. come back out and let’s end this

salt is sugar's wario

Every single Trump appointee has an agenda that makes it sound like they just escaped from Arkham Asylum

A photo of a popup on computer screen advertising Copilot. The text reads "Discover Copilot, your unreliable assistant. Explore new ways to work smarter(?) and 'faster' using the power of AI. Copilot in Word can help you get started from scratch, give you an answer that may or may not be correct, and then give you something to fact check or fix, every time you try to use it!" The call to action buttons say "What? No" and "Why did you do this"

Finally, an honest popup about the AI tools in MS Office

Love to watch my lovely talented friend @interrobang.bsky.social turn an AI fashion shitpost into a real physical item of clothing I can wear. What a goddamn delight!

De chuffed sgysfkk