Rockin’ Riker

On the other hand I’m not not not nude.

And yet, by some calculations, I’m not not not not nude. Ha ha! Math!

Listen Ensign, I’m not nude.

But I’m not not nude, you know?

Miles! Just wanted to let you know that I’ll be calling you Kilometers for the rest of the day to boost morale!

Good call.

That reminds me, I’d like to report an HR violation

A violation of you missing my latest performance of NIGHTBIRD YEEEAAHHH

FEEEEAAAMP

Never tell me the odds.

We can always hope, David.

Good morning everyone. Today we’re meeting a new species; something called Florida Man. I’ve been advised to bring Caution to the table, so she’s over there, pick up your gear from her. Intel suggests this may be a Four, possibly even Five Loco situation OK LET’S MOVE IT PEOPLE

FWEEEEWOMP

FEEEEAAAMP

Oh that’s very important.

Very. Important.

ATTENTION EVERYONE I AM STANDING UNDER THE MISTLETOE AND WILL BE ACCEPTING TIPS AS I PLAY NIGHTBIRD IN ITS ENTIRETY ALL THE WAY THROUGH NEW YEARS EVE

I knew you’d appreciate it!!

I’m making gazpacho!!

Careless Whisper? Nothing careless about it, Data. If anything it’s a focused whisper.

Oh the SONG. I thought you meant me. I was whispering. Well, whisper-farting.

Full disclosure, there wasn’t much of a whisper to it, if I’m being honest.

Yes Data, I AM wearing Ugg boots filled with pumpkin spice lattes. Why? It’s quite simple; the Ambassador will never hear my coming. Nothing is quieter than Ugg boots Data, that’s just science. And the lattes will keep my feet warm, so I can take my time. You see, his vision is based on movement and

Exactly. He needs to LEARN.

No that’s Lazlo’s thing

Thank you! That took some work.

Indeed! Good eye!

Yes Data, I carved all these pumpkins myself. Impressive, I know. Pay special attention to the detail work!! And yes, before you ask, they are ALL erotic works of art!

Oh it all makes sense. TOTAL SENSE.

I’m sorry, what did you say? I was distracted by all this erotic topiary!!

It will be absolutely top secret Chief. Well, until the explosion.

About what?

Sorry, that’s classified.

I never shave it. I braid it.

Not until I have truly learned it!!

Those are all empty

Oh it’s very simple, Data. The reason I’m cleverly disguised as a shrub is to infiltrate the Ambassador’s garden party. Yes! The one tonight. He’ll never see me coming. Because of the disguise, you see. Or don’t see. Keep up, Data. Anywho, I need you to hand me my basket of exploding eclairs STAT!!