Daminal

I need to use this app more apparently 👀

Wait, hear me out....

😳

They might become partners in crime

I got you, boo!

I'm trying to get you a spot on Survivor 😁

Handgela and I have a great Valentine's Day planned

google is a ouija board when the person who answered the question is dead.

🥵😆

Sold!

Coming up with captions for pictures of my ass is more difficult than I had imagined

I'm a caption masster

I hope 2026 brings you peace and mind blowing orgasms.

If you don't know who Bill Withers is then it's only going to be a one night stand. I have standards

Well and bacon

I prefer to think of it as being efficient

I’ll just answer that email after this coffee, and other lies I’m telling myself this morning.

Remember to pick the lent out of your bush today

penis is short for penisaurus

Keep up the good work

im a daytime midweek bowling alley ten.

i see dead people’s dicks

*my dixth sense*

Peak efficiency

Same *checks available sick time*

Hot 🔥

😬😆