BREAKING: Epcot announces new BOFA festival will be added to the annual lineup.
26.01.2026 04:38
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BREAKING: Epcot announces new BOFA festival will be added to the annual lineup.
CONFIRMED: Disney will celebrate America’s 250 year anniversary next year by fully paving over Rivers of America and removing parts of the historic American frontier in Magic Kingdom to replace with IP to better reflect modern American capitalist opportunism. Here’s a picture of Patrick Warburton.
BREAKING: Disney+ is to replace the two-season run of Andor with a recut version that runs for only five minutes, and is just Mon Mothma apologising profusely to Darth Vader for any inconvenience, and letting him have whatever he wants.
BREAKING: Universal Studios announces a new attraction will replace Race Through New York with Jimmy Fallon. The new attraction will be Race to Escape Fascism with Jimmy Kimmel
Touché.
Same. I already stopped watching ABC and will be canceling my Disney Plus subscription.
You’re not wrong, but I’m pretty sure they’re not my theme parks or my mass media outlet that’s caving to illegal fascist FCC demands by our manbaby dictator-in-chief.
It may work better posting feedback to ABC or writing to congress rather than reminding parody news that the holocaust was real.
DID YOU KNOW?
Each morning, custodian cast members working in Epcot's Land pavilion must vacuum the wall carpets before any guests arrive to notice their mysterious control over the laws of gravity, achieved by eating nothing but hydroponic tomatoes and nine pound lemons.
BREAKING: Universal Orlando has renamed one of their popular coasters to be called “R.I.P. Ride Rocket”
BREAKING: Walt Disney Animated Pictures announce a new live action CG version of Sleeping Beauty in which all three fairy godmothers are resealable food storage containers
BREAKING: Disney announces limited time merchandise for closing of MuppetVision 3D
BREAKING: Disney officially opens Epic Muppets theme park. The park, centered entirely around the Muppets, includes an AA cooking show in a Swedish Chef land called “Isle of Børk”.
BREAKING: Garfield and Nermal attraction will feature prominently in new Disney park coming to Abu Dhabi.
BREAKING: Epcot announces that the newest version of Test Track will explore how, after a 35% increase in 2023, the electric car industry is thriving for companies that aren’t led by unlikeable billionaire fascist weirdos. The attraction will be renamed “Elon’s Energy Adventure”
BREAKING: Disney unveils a new chain of workout studios that will allow guests to experience Pilates of the Caribbean.
BREAKING: New line of high-fiber fast casual meals and snacks coming to a reimagined food court currently under refurbishment at Disney's Pop Century Resort. During this time, guests may see or hear loud noises in the area.
BREAKING: Epcot’s Test Track sponsor has changed from Specific Motors™️ back to General Motors™️.
NEWS FLASH: Disney’s Hollywood Studios will be removing the muppets from MuppetVision 3D and instead putting them in every other attraction in the park
BREAKING: Disney imagineers have released their plans for a new monorail with one less track.
BREAKING: That white ibis, who ate your fried chicken sandwich at Geyser Point when you were weren’t looking, was just diagnosed with arteriosclerosis by a doctor ibis.
BREAKING: Our interest in Twitter.
BREAKING: Six Flags Great America in Gurnee, IL announces an early closure tomorrow, just in case Hurricane Milton tries any funny business like teleporting to Lake Michigan
CONFIRMED: Universal Studios Orlando have released an announcement assuring guests that their new How to Train Your Dragon land will not be named “Isle of Twerk” as has been reported elsewhere.
CONFIRMED: Hershey park apologizes to guests for mixing up the mocktail “blood bags” at their Dark Nights event with the donations collected by yesterday’s blood drive.
BREAKING: Epcot announces that the Land Pavilion boat ride will be rethemed from plants to meat and the water for the boats will be replaced with gravy. The new ride will be called “Living With the Lard”
BREAKING: Lost in the hubbub of D23 was the announcement that Magic Kingdom will be replacing Main Street USA with an outlet mall in which each storefront is solely merchandise from a different film.
CONFIRMED: Walt Disney World imagineer shocked to learn that cars can’t drive on water
EXCLUSIVE: Magic Kingdom Vice President declares the overhaul of Magic Kingdom, started yesterday, to be complete for some reason unrelated to all the plans that were announced.
CONFIRMED: Disney has launched the Disney Treasure — their first cruise ship themed entirely to the film Treasure Planet
BREAKING: Disney has announced at D23 that, for its 55th birthday, the Haunted Mansion doom buggies at Disneyland will be sped up to 55mph today