tez dispenser

“Sisters not twins” I say to myself as I put my eyebrows through a bitter divorce- and lefties definitively getting the kids

So I was opening tonight for two bands full of old men so I just guessed the vibe and played a bunch of Willie Nelson and Arlo Guthrie and Gram Parsons and the band after me just opened with Neutral Milk Hotel

The more I lean into the fact I’m just kind of an awkward nerd, the less stage fright I have honestly

I need a legendary pull for the costume contest at the bar I work at and boy howdy have I waited until last minute

A haunted house but instead of clowns with chainsaws it’s me from 2016 and I’m not allowed to hit her with a really big rock

Squirrel mushrooms matcha bowl set

Squirrel mushrooms matcha bowl set

Squirrel mushrooms matcha bowl set

Squirrel mushrooms matcha bowl set

Squirrels and mushrooms for this matcha bowl set 🐿️🍄

Muriel Bagg would have been such a good mother to the eraserhead baby

I love you october nights I love you sleeping with my window cracked open but a heated blanket

Just watched this pretty young kid grunge band and their drummer immediately got off stage, loaded out gear, and is now trying to read House Of Leaves in a dimly lit basement venue. It’s honestly based as hell

I love going to bar shows cuz there’s always that one guy having a spiritual experience

meeting scheduled for 11am and then everyone texting the group chat at 10:30 to say they just got out of bed and the meeting isn’t happening is the most working-at-a-bar thing that has happened since I’ve been working at a bar

Realizing all my favorite singers aren’t “great” they’re just loud was lifechanging

Read Motherfucking books! All damn day

I love this place.

Like imagine someone doing all 26 minutes of Alice’s Restaurant

I always wanna do A Bit™️ at karaoke but I never do because I’m so in love with the KJ down here

How often I can just be like “I have a plant for that” is kinda insane

I love that so much

Sometimes going to work is hard but loud Iron Maiden on the way there helps

Every time my kids bring home a scholastic book fair flier my brain plays the Mariah Carey “it’s tiiiiiime” tiktok audio

I missed my calling as a drunk history presenter

I have this one friend that I’m like 85% sure my mom sent to me specifically but that’s an insane thing to say so I just send her memes and tell her I love her

My littlest lady and I match every Halloween and she just informed me that this year we’re gonna be galactic space bunnies🤣🥲

No one has ever understood being a thirty year old woman like 28 year old Billy Joel or 35 year old Bruce Springsteen

I m too tender lately to be on tiktok Jesus Christ

Why does it have to cost $37 just to exit my house

💋

A digital drawing of a green praying mantis with the head of a Venus flytrap reaches up to try and eat a fly

There once was a sweet carnivorous plant
Who couldn’t help but feel restless wherever he sat
And a kind little mantis who could not help but find
A whole stream of lovers, who kept losing their minds
But they soon crossed paths, and their true love was sworn
And that’s how Beatrice came to be born🌱

A half empty beer sits at a bar, covered by a box of tarot cards

I openly said to myself “oh this would have done numbers on Tumblr” when I took this photo

I’ve never had so many songs in my head at once chat do we think I can ride this wave into an album

I appreciate you, tbh I was just having an overwhelm meltdown. I do this to myself with spreading myself too thin🤷🏻‍♀️