@middlea
I hope I get old enough to be interviewed about the secret to my longevity and answer, “I shoved a pine cone up my ass once a week.” Then I want live long enough to read about a new techbro trend of shoving a pine cone up the ass.
who made this
He wears pants to cover the needle tracks on his legs. I thought this was obvious
We wanted to understand how mRNA vaccines work. So we talked to three cocaine addicts in a gas station bathroom off Route 6.
Corollary observation: Judging from recent media revelations, we can order three obsessions of the political and corporate elites:
1. AI
2. Protecting sexual predators
...
...
...
...
n. Environment
📌The real sanctuary city is where money and power protect you from the consequences of sex trafficking, or influence peddling ...
Not the small Midwestern city where trying to help a lady get up after she gets maced gets you shot in the back of the f**ing head."
-Jon Stewart
starting an initiative called “Project 12:01 PM” that’s just a list of executive orders that get autopenned before “…so help me god” stops echoing off the mall
- demo the arch
- chisel the tacky vandalism off the Kennedy center, USIP, WH, pentagon
- repeal and revert every EO
- etc
Nation Yearns For Relative Calm Of ‘President A Giant Pedophile’ News Cycle
My follow-up question: Can babies vomit in the womb?
Never escaping the adage "men are afraid that women are laughing at them; women are afraid that men will kill them"
Oh, go fuck a couch
The ICE agent who murdered Renee Nicole Good and fled the scene has deleted all of his social media accounts. The Trump administration says he is currently at home on paid leave, enjoying time with his family. After this administration, we are going to need a Nuremberg Trials 2.0.
Disappointed road kill bear cub or severed whale head didn’t make the top of the pyramid
Substitute Charlie Kirk for Ms Good and they’d get fired.
This would be a good moment for top editors in our major news organizations to call a meeting to announce to their staff that Trump has lost his mind and you don’t have to cover him like he’s normal anymore.
Her finger was in his face, but her foot was crushing his balls under that table
Once, there were probably a lot of Trump babies. I assume most were aborted and incinerated
Nuremberg 2026
I didn’t mention that after this is over, the ICE thugs should be put on trial in a Nuremberg type trial, and I assure you that “I was just following orders” will get the same response here as it did then. No one bought that defense.
Would spray foam insulation work? Asking for a friend
I thought he was drawn like an organ grinder monkey
Satire is dead.
Yeah, it’s well known he juices. Pretty obvious, too.
Am hoping for ass cancer. Please be ass cancer.
U of M you are literally a lawyer factory. Why the fuck did you cave? Push back you morons. Trump folds like a cheap suit every time.
And yet they will likely support a Trump 3rd term
The hand bruising is likely from repeated blocking of Epstein files.
The craziest thing about this Cracker Barrel story is that Donald Trump was best friends with Jeffrey Epstein for decades and publicly admitted to trafficking young women to him out of Maralago.
Watch out for sandwiches!
Jesus, how many girls did he rape?
