Spaceship Gary

(Looking around) yeah I don’t think coddling’s been working, Steve!

Even our baseball team commits war crimes

Exactly. Is it “Kamala Harris would have gone to war with Iran after calling them our greatest enemy” or are “the Democrats a bunch of do-nothings”? Maybe pick a lane, 🤔🤔🤔

A CERTAIN KIND OF ACTIVE VENUE HAS BEEN FOUND TO BE PERVERTED.
WE WON'T TELL YOU WHICH ONE UNTIL AFTER SPORTS AND THE WEATHER WITH FUNNY SONNY STORM.

Blasted the work bathroom to make sure everyone knows who’s top dog around here. $DIS

How come you guys keep fiddling with this? You had it perfect with cashtags, the feature everyone wanted.

Okay, do they all get to be Senator or something? Maybe they take turns?

Let’s talk about Graham Platner’s Big Lie, finally. In 2009, at the height of the Gulf War, the Marines barred him from active duty. Platner claims it was his forearm tattoos. But his one forbidden tattoo was the Nazi symbol on his chest. He knew - and he left the Marines rather than give it up. 1/

We’re doing capitalism

I just did the flowchart about all those Democrats voting with Republicans so I guess this means I’m allowed to say Fuck the Democrats.

(Dumbest voice possible) “this politician isn’t lying to me!”

Mine didn’t come with the sound effects. 😢

The sequel to 9/11 is gonna flop

No, shut up

What’s crazy is the Democrats have the margins that they can just lockstep vote against anything that just requires a majority vote and Republicans still get what they want so even as a compromised party, doesn’t it make sense to still, like, look to try?

Every Democrat Senator is from Vermont?

Quick question, these Iranians, does their last name happen to be Pahlavi?

America is getting more efficient and proceeding directly to farce.

Nope!

Hey, since you’re new and haven’t said something stupid enough for me to block or reply mean enough to be blocked, can you pass this idea along?

bsky.app/profile/spac...

They’re gonna look at that massive noggin wondering how many bullets it could soak up for them.

If I’m in a conversation with someone it doesn’t bother: I just talk around the word

If I’m talking to someone it bothers: Ooh-sian

Let’s be clear, this one’s just a reflexive, “look at my jagoff sons“ thing.

Canadiens don’t hate themselves enough

You know the New York Magazine just profiled a new fetish app you can pay two fascists dipshits to tell you not to watch porn in case this place stops doing it for you.

Sorry, it was eight. But, if it ends up being Fetterman, Coons, Reed, Peters, Kaine, Slotkin, Shaheen, and Aguilar, don’t be shocked.

The article then names seven Democrat Senators ready to help Republicans get past the filibuster.

And you just know they’re terrible at it too, like $30/year terrible.

That’s a fetish app.

“Do you think the secret Nazi would take a thrill out of showing off his secret Nazi tattoo in a crowd of Jewish people who don’t know it’s code?”