Screenshot of a notes app page titled Grocery “Don't forget to check the boosters before checkout! Any frozen food on sale Toothbrushes if on sale GUN CANPARIU RED VERMOTH”
Wait I need to get WHAT from the shops?
Big wet in sydney right now ey
2025 Outs: Title Case, connecting with your ex on LinkedIn, baggy shorts, Instagram reels
2026 ins: sentence case, wearing jockstraps to the office, Pokémon rom hacks on your phone
My husband just said “Welp, time to drown the computer” as he held down the start button. And I turned to him? And was like, sorry? And he said “don’t you feel like when you hold down the power button you’re forcing its head underwater”
No longer!
I’ve had three beers time to respond to every insta story like it’s my job on the production line
this man hands me his kindle on the train and with a smirk says “hey, read the first couple of sentences of this page”
business guy who posts about Michel de Montaigne like it’s Sun Tzu or Machiavelli
A kindle app screenshot of an extract from Montaigne’s essay: On Memory, highlighted text reads: “I have observed in several of my intimate friends, who, as their memories supply them with an entire and full view of things, begin their narrative so far back, and crowd it with so many impertinent circumstances, that though the story be good in itself, they make a shift to spoil it; and if otherwise, you are either to curse the strength of their memory or the weakness of their judgment: and it is a hard thing to close up a discourse, and to cut it short, when you have once started; there is nothing wherein the force of a horse is so much seen as in a round and sudden stop.”
what im thinkin when ur story at the pub is going on and on
get gud
can’t explain it but the water tastes better straight from the tap in the bathroom than it does in the kitchen
sometimes on a late night home, when the suburban streets are deathly quiet — I’ll spot the outline of a cat, hidden behind a wheel of a car, or standing sentinel on the fence and think — fuck!! how many more of you have I missed!?
opening my slack in the club just to check to see if I need to urgently circle back on anything
one thing living rent free in my head after coming back from Vietnam is a gentle proprietor who, upon my imminent purchase of a bumbag, quietly protested: “no… no… Now you say a lower price to me, that’s allowed”
really makes you question the bit
only then to darkly tempt:
“Notify Anyway?”
nothing quite like a friend’s phone interrupting you mid-bit to advise “X has notifications silenced”.
Sidere mens eadem mutato 🥴
Me, derisively: ha bet that lawyer [running the terrible appeal du jour ] went to Bond, ha ha
*checks their linkedin*
Education:
U N I V E R S I T Y
OF
S Y D N E Y
ah, well… nevertheless
“yellow for our nation, red for our blood, each point of the star a different class of worker united in our revolution” hell yeah
it slaps
We have been bundled into a bigger minibus, this one WITH working seatbelts. (@rjsalmond.bsky.social and I are the only passengers wearing them)
Grainy image of a weary, wet stained and barely legible set of safety instructions in both Vietnamese and English, the first of which advises to “fasten your seat belt before moving the vehicle”
BUT HOW!!
“there are no seatbelts on this minibus” I conspiratorially text to my husband on the minibus: “correct”.
If we die in a crash I wish to assure you all this minibus did not have seatbelts. I don’t want a judgmental news reporter advising you otherwise.
If this is my last skeet🫡
He’s not being precious about it - he’s very shy and awkward until he grabs the mic and the backing starts
that one guy who knows how sing? Yeah you better believe he’s killing it at the open karaoke
fucj, muriel s wedding
[in the broadest australian accent you’ve ever heard, in Hoi An] yeah mate every aussie loaves ABBA? Have
You seen strictly ballroom ??
