Xander 🩵

I didn’t choose to be gay.

Lady Gaga’s music video for Alejandro just came out at a very formative time in my life.

STI testing

my blood and piss were STOLEN 😭

My name is sloppy joe bc all I can think about is the goopiness of ditto

Let the Pokopia begin

Hold on. #fcf

AAAAHHHH!! It’s a cock!

I woke up like this #fcf

So January was ten thousand years long and February was 10 seconds. Universal experience or is it just me?

I’m having a charcuterie board for lunch

she gouda on my salami til I cracker

Oh shit Pokopia comes out TODAY??

I’m QA and this shit pisses me off every time

Software developer to QA: “here’s this ticket that’s ready to test”

QA to SW dev: “cool so what does this requirement mean?”

SW dev: “idk”

QA: “okay so what the fuck did you code then?”

Handwriting challenge! Quote with your handwriting!

I did two classic pangrams to show off all the letters but do whatever you want ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Selfie of me outside! It’s sunny and I have my sunglasses on.

Proof that I go outside sometimes

Me too! I’d start the quote prompt now but I’m working at a coffee shop with no writing implements

Again, I understand what it does. I’m just saying I have never wanted this shortcut so I don’t use it. If I want a period I will type a period. If I want two spaces I will type two spaces (and it won’t turn into a period).

The girls who get it get it! 😌 alsooo handwriting reveal quote prompt challenge thing for the True Penmanship Heads coming soon?

No like I get what it does but I don’t know why they would do that and make it the default. so I don’t like it and always turn it off

My life is so difficult and sad and everybody hates me !!! Put me down like old yeller 😭

As someone who has never understood that shortcut and has always disabled it immediately upon receiving a new phone, wh???? 😠.

Eric Andre GIF Alt: Gif of Eric Andre behind a fence, flailing, screaming “LET ME OUT!!”

I just had a chai tea latte that was just a cup of milk with a shot of syrup at the bottom 🤮

Actual message I received from a colleague moments ago:
“😃.”
The period was included in the message!! What the heck!!

Last weekend I was driving home from San Diego at like 3 AM and the freeway was basically empty, but I had to slam on my brakes because someone was going 40 mph with their lights off. Almost definitely drunk but 1000% stupid 😤

How I arrived on Bluesky

Oopsie I started playing Planet Crafter again and didn’t move for 7 hours 🤭 good night

Hump day

lmao

why did the kxdyn cross the road?

a flock of birds are flying over a group of people running in front of a building Alt: A scene from The Birds, Alfred Hitchcock, 1963, depicting the people of the town running frantically as a flock of birds terrorizes them from the skies

Bloomfs who thirst followed me leaving when Pokopia comes out and I don’t shut the fuck up about it