After decades of progress, bias against gay people in the U.S. is rising—and fastest among young adults.
In a @nytimes.com op-ed, IPR's @elijfinkel.bsky.social and Tessa Charlesworth share new research on this alarming reversal and what might be driving it.
spr.ly/63328ho5Dq
Woman with curly hair wearing earphones waves hello during a video call in a modern kitchen setting.
New research suggests that virtual first dates could be a useful (and underappreciated) tool in screening potential romantic partners.
Authors: Elina Moreno, Eli Finkel, Kellie Ammerman, and Paul Eastwick
Read more in #SPPS: https://ow.ly/yhu950XWXgk
Thanks for having us on the show, Andy -- such a fun conversation!
Gathering with friends and family this week? Disagreements are normal. IPR’s @elijfinkel.bsky.social says they can even be healthy when handled with care. Click here to learn more about Finkel's work helping us lean into our disagreements: spr.ly/633257UqnU
(In a delightful twist, my new segment got stitched together with a rebroadcast of an older episode featuring the incomparable @elijfinkel.bsky.social, one of my grad school professors, whose work on marriage is captivating. I couldn’t ask for a better Hidden Brain buddy!)
Please apply to postdoc with us at Northwestern/Kellogg. This position in the Dispute Resolution Research Center is a terrific opportunity.
If you're interested in pedagogy surrounding the teaching of negotiation, I hope you'll join us for "Teaching Negotiations the Kellogg Way."
See the repost for details.
📢POSTDOC POSITION ANNOUNCEMENT📢
@nourkteily.bsky.social & I are recruiting a postdoc in the #LitowitzCenter for Enlightened Disagreement. We seek research excellence regarding navigating conflict.
Application deadline: Nov. 17.
Salary: ~$80k.
facultyrecruiting.northwestern.edu/apply/MjQzNw==
What kinds of conversations spark instant connection?
Excited to share my first NYT Guest Essay, with @ericaboothby.bsky.social.
We argue that playful riffing — creating a little world together — forges and deepens relationships through shared reality.
www.nytimes.com/2025/09/04/o...
📢 MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT 📢
@nourkteily.bsky.social and I are delighted to introduce the Litowitz Center for Enlightened Disagreement, supercharged by a $20M gift from Jennifer and Alec Litowitz.
The #LitowitzCenter helps people harness the power of difference.
www.chicagotribune.com/2025/09/03/n...
The Center employs scientific evidence to help people, organizations, and societies leverage the power of disagreement for good.
To learn more about the Center, see this Northwestern Magazine cover story.
2/2
magazine.northwestern.edu/features/cen...
📢JOB POSTING: Senior Director for the Center for Enlightened Disagreement (CED).📢
@nourkteily.bsky.social and I seek a strategic leader to help us build the Center (see ensuing post for information about CED).
Target salary range: $125,000-$155,000.
1/2
careers.northwestern.edu/psc/hrnu_er/...
Welcome, Eric -- thanks for subscribing to the show!
And good question. I'd love to listen to such a podcast, too. To my knowledge, no such show exists, but I've tagged @pauleastwick.bsky.social in case he might have any leads.
A big THANK YOU to @davidmcraney.bsky.social for featuring the #LoveFactually podcast on #YouAreNotSoSmart!
The episode delves into #TheNotebook, figuring out what the movie gets right -- and what it gets wrong -- about how relationships work.
Enjoy!
youarenotsosmart.com/2025/08/04/y...
Dive into the science behind your favorite rom-coms with
@elijfinkel.bsky.social and Paul Eastwick’s "Love Factually" podcast. Discover what Hollywood gets right—and wrong—about love. ❤️ 🎥
Listen now: www.lovefactuallypod.com
🎉Life update🎉
After 6 wonderful years at Princeton, I am officially *Dr.* Oktar!
Next: Postdoc at Meta FAIR w/ @asli-celikyilmaz.bsky.social; then, postdoc at Kellogg studying disagreement w/ @elijfinkel.bsky.social & @nourkteily.bsky.social!
Thanks @tanialombrozo.bsky.social for the hood :)
Agree to disagree? That's the goal of Kellogg's Center for Enlightened Disagreement, led by @elijfinkel.bsky.social and Nour Kteily. Read more about how two leading scholars of conflict and polarization want to help us have more productive conversations. magazine.northwestern.edu/features/cen...
If you'd like to read the chapter -- or even if you'd just like to see more of the quotes I use to illustrate the principles of relationship science -- you can read it here:
openpublishing.princeton.edu/read/romantic-
Time won’t fly
it’s like I’m paralyzed by it
I’d like to be my old self again
But I’m still trying to find it
— Taylor Swift (2012), All Too Well
The practice of love offers no place of safety. We risk loss, hurt, pain.
— bell hooks (2000), All About Love
Love doesn’t just sit there, like a stone, it has to be made, like bread; remade all the time, made new.
— Ursula Le Guin, The Lathe of Heaven
Every action of theirs, that seems to them an act of their own free will, is in an historical sense not free at all, but in bondage to the whole course of previous history.
— Leo Tolstoy, War and Peace
The chapter quotes liberally from major thinkers and pop-culture icons alike -- from Leo Tolstoy to Ursula Le Guin to bell hooks to Taylor Swift. Here are some examples:
Finally, the chapter considers three major challenges confronting relationship science: (1) biased research samples, (2) the chasmic divide separating the field from evolutionary-psych perspectives on relationships, and (3) measurement challenges that hamper our theory-testing.
Next, the chapter considers three emerging topics in relationship science: (1) consensual nonmonogamy, (2) relationships-as-microcultures, and (3) singlehood.
The chapter then considers the dissolution of romantic relationships, including a discussion of whether a relationship that breaks up is necessarily a failure.
The second batch encompasses 12 interpersonal tendencies that we can cultivate to strengthen our relationships, including constructive patterns of thought and behavior.
Then the chapter gets into the field's major ideas and findings, discussing them in two batches. The first batch encompasses seven exogenous constraints that impinge upon our relationships, including the nature of human psychology, human sociality, and time itself.
The chapter then considers the methods of relationship science -- how researchers design studies and use empirical evidence to test falsifiable hypotheses about the nature of romantic relationships.
