Jerry Johnson

Shocking Video Captures Calm Police Officers Handling Situation Nonviolently

Study: Majority Of Billionaires Consider Selves  Middle Class ST. PAUL, MN—In a comprehensive new survey of how the wealthy view their socioeconomic status, a study published this week in the Journal Of Economic Perspectives found that the majority of billionair...

Study: Majority Of Billionaires Consider Selves  Middle Class — theonion.com/study-majori...

Use some common sense.

One of the biggest problems with the world is that fools are always so sure and certain about everything and intelligent people are so full of doubts and uncertainties.

Trump Orders His Face Added To The Pep Boys Logo WASHINGTON—Insisting that he deserved a place alongside the iconic visages of the auto supply company’s founders, President Donald Trump issued an executive order Tuesday adding his face to the Pep Bo...

Trump Orders His Face Added To The Pep Boys Logo — theonion.com/trump-orders...

No.

No

Study Finds Curative Power Of Prayer Limited To Genital Warts CHICAGO—Emphasizing the constraints of God’s healing hands, a new study published Thursday in the Journal Of The American Medical Association found that the curative power of prayer was limited exclus...

Study Finds Curative Power Of Prayer Limited To Genital Warts — theonion.com/study-finds-...

#booksky

Exactly this!!!

Nope

Slightly Older Sources Report If You Think Body Feels Bad Now, Just Wait EAU CLAIRE, WI—Massaging their stiff shoulders and necks while remarking that they wish they’d known how good they had it when they were your age, slightly older sources reported Thursday that if you ...

Slightly Older Sources Report If You Think Body Feels Bad Now, Just Wait — theonion.com/slightly-old...

These didn't age well.

The United States never has enough money to keep people alive at home but always has enough money to kill people overseas.

Congress, Now More Than Ever, We Need Your Cowardice

Congress, now more than ever, our nation needs your cowardice

I have sent a copy of ‘The Onion’ to every member of Congress. To spread its message to less powerful people, I have also taken out an ad in a lesser newspaper. Read my full letter here: theonion.com/why-im-sendi...

Word.

Why aren’t you standing up for state’s rights now skank?!

Everything he does he does to distract us from everything he’s doing.

We have a president that is just looking for an excuse to declare marshal law. He is intentionally provoking protesters to turn to violent.

Not long before King Cheetos declares marshal law. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think the republicans would go this far.

Trumps is preparing to declare marshal law. He’s just waiting for one protest to get out of hand.

FEMA Chief Confused By Wind ‘How Come I Feel Something But Don’t See It?’ Asks Department Head

FEMA Chief Confused By Wind
theonion.com/fema-ch...