The Inner Lives of Supermodels

Double, double, toil and trouble! Flower burn and handbag bubble!
By the shimmer of my clothes, I foresee another awkward pose!

I swear to God Lisa if I see one scorpion I'm holding you responsible

My God… it’s my grade school teacher Mr Balco—dead these 30 years!

For two decades I have fed of the silk of the zung-zung worm.. The hour is at hand

POV: A former patient has spotted you at the opera with another of your former patients

You SAT on my 16th century Thuringian drinking glass???

When you sell all your furniture for one sick suit.

POV: You brought your fatal, blinding deathray to the party but whoops a mole has tipped off your enemies

"So before anything else happens, Daddy wants to know how much money you make. And I'm afraid the truth isn't going to cut it"

god i fucking love brushing my teeth

POV: you are a juicy mollusc

POV: you just outbid everyone for the rare Daniel Ash picture disc

There is only one plane a day off this island and Janine? You better be on it. No it's NOT okay. Hot tub is sacred Janine. You broke our trust.

Pre-Insta humblebrag on the flower arrangement

Go on then

POV: Alexander Skarsgard has just realized you're about to break up with him

1Xtra played this quite a bit! But yeah

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Thank you Tom! Very lucky to get to do this with Mark and speak to people like your brother, Martin S and more. I felt a real sense of freedom.

I chickened out lol. Instead of the coolest guy in the room I was the fellow with bags under his eyes squinting at the screen

snapped in the Oxford St John Lewis an hour ago -

are you a serious
man who aims semolina? M&S have it iirc.

lots to like about Stratford these days but Stratford High Street absolutely not one of them

are you in Stratford?

The rats eat the cats, the cats eat the rats, and we get the skins for free!

“heat the can of corn (drained) and add the remaining two tablespoons of oil” just nonsense

!! My grandfather would yell up from downstairs that he could hear me pounding too hard on the spacebar. I mean, I was, but in my defense Kaypro II keyboards could probably withstand a nuclear assault

it better wear off before we go into my mom's castle or she's definitely going to cancel the wedding, i know her

Wait, somebody around here is eating *sniffs* Utz Red Hot

the CHVRCH of MAVRA