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06.03.2026 19:40
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[USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST]
The Colorado Avalanche, not content simply with being the best team in the NHL, have decided to go fully mad with power and try and become the first team in NHL history to win a Stanley Cup with 17 centers in the line-up
The dive bar near where I live now apparently does "Spaghetti Mondays" and I can't think of a thing I'd rather do less than order spaghetti at a dive bar
I do try to enjoy my favorite hockey teams doing well but if the NHL playoffs started today it would be Avs vs. Kraken and Sabres vs. Red Wings, which are basically the two possible series guaranteed to make me wanna jump into a reservoir lmao
Looking at this again on my PC, the duck looks photoshopped in more than anything has ever been photoshopped into any picture, but it was actually there. How'd I pull that off
PALACE WIN, ABSOLUTE SCENES FROM GEORGE THE BEAR #CPFC
Watching #CPFC play against a low block is basically just the same two steps over and over:
1. Adam Wharton makes a perfect pass milliseconds after getting the ball
2. The guy he passed to immediately does something you'd expect to see from a 62-rated FIFA player set to the Beginner AI level
uzworm, wearing a black Crystal Palace shirt, holding a blue rubber duck and a red beanie baby bear
The @coloradopalace.bsky.social watch party: me, a beanie baby, and a rubber duck. As it was meant to be #cpfc
WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE UTAH POWERPLAY IS SPONSORED BY ARBYS
Only thing worse than watching the Avs play like refried urinal cakes is watching them play like refried urinal cakes with a bottom 5 PBP team on the mics
Trying to watch the Avs game but I've got the Utah feed and I think I might rather be waterboarded
They just said that "Nathan MacKinnon is missing for Utah tonight" help
I have apparently hit the "getting texted wellness checks" point of having not been out in a while whoops
Who needs meth? I've been sculpting via looksmaxxing for years by accidentally walking face-first into walls
Americans be like "This thing that's been happening for 250 years in this country doesn't represent our country 😭"
Fascinating how seemingly the only function of Kash Patel in society is to nerf Nathan Mackinnon
A Google AI overview. "In basketball, a "flush" refers to a powerful dunk, typically executed with one or two hands, that forcefully puts the ball through the hoop."
Thanks Google AI overview, but I'm more interested now in hearing about these implied atypical dunks that are done with a different number of hands than "one or two"
Always gotta rep the 295 states of America with your suit
Obviously I'm not gonna play a game called fucking "Mewgenics", but also my very, VERY long-standing method of never, ever, EVER giving a shit about the opinion of anyone who posts in earnest about Chris-Chan has been working well for me the last few days
For anyone planning to quit discord if you want to get a hold of me I'll be on top of a mountain screaming gaming commentary in morse code through an Alphorn
The Buffalo Bills when they finally lose the division race and get the 2nd-place schedule but next year rotates the AFC East and West so they'll still have to play the fucking Chiefs for the 17th year in a row anyway
Make sure to add that, really, the worst part of the comparison is that the Patriots actually made it out of the first round
It was a very Maple Leafs-type performance by the Pats soooo
Drake Maye's greatest crime yet is loading up on garbage time yards and TDs so that all the Pats fans still on Twitter who spent the last month arguing he was the obvious NFL MVP don't collectively throw themselves into a reservoir
Shout out Lady Gaga for making up for the last halftime show she was in by this time cursing the Pats to one of the best second-half shitshows ever
Say what you will about the Buffalo Bills, but they've never had a Super Bowl performance so embarrassing that the other team's kicker was a favorite for the SB MVP
www.twitch.tv/uzworm Starting shortly with my block of the Charity Hut once psych is done. I'll be doing a hell seed of DK64 Rando till around 6am pacific. Join us and donate as we say #FuckIce tinyurl.com/CH2026donate
A picture from the Jackbox Party Pack game Nonsensory, green on a black background, showing a "Chirop-raptor" clawing someone's back. The person is smiling and saying "yay".
uzworm on the dahir insaat bad
CHARITY HUT 2026 IS LIVE!
@pinuwuk.itch.io, yours truly, @thejewker.bsky.social and @rejax.bsky.social will be streaming for a full 24 hours for Americans for Immigrant Justice!
Check us out on @uzworm.bsky.social's Twitch!
twitch.tv/uzworm
It's funny how for a normal person, the health issues I've had for the last few weeks would be catastrophic, like I told someone what I was going through the other day and she told me to go to the ER. Like, the ER?!
Girl, I need blood coming out of at LEAST four orifices before I think about the ER