A bear-shaped Kit Kat bar that, when viewed upside-down, suggests a phallus.
Is that a Kit Kat bar in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
07.03.2026 16:54
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The only running I do is as administrator.
06.03.2026 21:25
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thinking of going to the park and getting into a fight with the biggest goose i see
07.03.2026 16:05
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An outstanding warrant for my arrest has been downgraded to an above average warrant.
06.03.2026 22:34
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I want you all to know i have cat-like reflexes (want to sleep all day in the sun)
07.03.2026 16:03
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It's just adorable that Facebook notifies you that one of your FB friends "added a story with music you can listen to" as if listening to music is a new thing that no one's ever done on the interwebs before
07.03.2026 02:14
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You'll know when I'm dead by the way I'm drooling 8% less than usual.
02.03.2026 18:53
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But does the Hulk *feel* Incredible?
07.03.2026 13:29
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*eats a peanut butter and 50 mg black cherry gummy sandwich for lunch*
04.03.2026 21:06
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Bananas Foster is Australian for Bananas Beer.
06.03.2026 19:39
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I wanna learn Latin but I’m afraid I might mispronounce some words and accidentally cast a spell.
07.03.2026 02:06
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I can share my food. Just not with you. Or anyone. Or today.
27.01.2026 14:34
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I have a way with worms.
06.03.2026 17:45
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bras should have emergency exits
22.02.2026 06:43
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your porn star name is your mother's maiden name and the last four digits of your SSN
27.10.2025 21:10
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I HAVE consider the lilies of the field. None of those lilies are putting kids through college out of state. Very few lilies have their gallstone surgery rejected by Medicare.
03.03.2026 03:00
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Hornet nests are nature's ouchy piñatas.
28.02.2026 20:27
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When they start building the new bridge parallel to the old bridge do you think the old bridge sees the writing on the wall or does he just think he's getting a buddy?
25.02.2026 21:32
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According to conventional wisdom, imitation crabmeat is the sincerest form of seafood.
06.03.2026 00:38
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I'm not built for endurance, I'm built for being a sleepy lil guy
06.03.2026 04:51
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It’s weird having plans on the weekend. Idk who I am anymore.
06.03.2026 14:58
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put my symptoms into WebMD and it said I have a really old joke format
05.03.2026 02:57
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Thanks, Jack!
07.03.2026 02:45
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A statue of a woman washing the feet of Jesus, but the angle makes it look like there might be some testicles getting cleaned.
Oh look, they put up a statue to honor your mom.
19.09.2025 23:25
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Who doesn't enjoy long romantic strolls to the liquor store?
05.03.2026 12:29
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Working my way through the Russian authors, only a few more to Chekhov.
07.01.2025 14:39
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Bon Jovi dating profile
Bio
To live while I'm alive
Username
Blaze of Glory
I am a
Tommy
Seeking
Gina
Location
Easy Street, Dry County
Job
I'm a cowboy; on a steel horse I ride
Likes
New Jersey
Dislikes
Getting shot through the heart
When he holds you close
Bad medicine
02.03.2026 13:30
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"Nice chat. I'll let you go." - Me releasing my grip of someone hanging on the edge of a cliff.
01.03.2026 14:27
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I love listening to whale songs. My favourite genre is the Blues.
05.03.2026 22:22
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Not partner material, more be asked to identify in a lineup and be unable to type.
06.03.2026 01:59
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