11.03.2026 01:49
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@CNN Pizza shop workers took down an armed robber -- but when police took off his mask, they discovered he was their old boss.
and he would have got away with it too if it wasn't for those meddling kids
absolutely dying to investigate this piano purchase
new poop puns are dropping
Mr Dow's Wild Ride
it’s always sunny in philadelphia title card: "The Gang Solves the Gas Crisis"
it’s time to study the old texts
If everyone involved in this war, from the politicians to the generals, do not go to jail for this then we are doomed as a country. Failing to punish the crime of the Iraq war is why we are where we are now. Never again. Michael Mirdraghi's murderers must face justice.
Also, it just factually doesn’t. It’s a file full of numbers. A mega complex excel spreadsheet. I understand how people can be fooled by it (and it’ll only get worse) but it’s not alive. Full stop.
Love reading Frankenstein in public so I can occasionally say, “I guess we see who the real monster is.”
Some diggety lots of doubt
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH
Bless his head and neck
[elvis voice] … I’m all bricked up
Honestly probably a good call
Will you help me invent one??
If you’ve got a Canadian ancestor (seriously) you’re now eligible for citizenship. So look into that.
This isn't me, but it captures my Friday mood perfectly
Threads thread: thriller_instinct 3d Is it okay to bully 40 and 50 year olds who are on social media just for being on it, cuz like why are you here - 254 Q 3.1K G 28 746 corporateash 18h ••• My ICQ UIN is 7231680. That number is burned into my consciousness. I inadvertently learned that you could see private conversations in public chat rooms when using Telnet instead of a browser on GeoCities. I can tell you the difference in audible dial-up handshakes between 1200, 2400, 14.4 kbps modems. I needed a edu email address to join Facebook after my university was admitted. We were here at the beginning. We made social media. You wouldn't be in my Top 8. I have usernames older than you. 852 Q62 G6 72
“I have usernames older than you.”.
Holy shit
Baja Blastoise in your toilet
Here we go, time to try and sell a thing or two
hiyinx.blogspot.com/2026/03/for-...
why what happened
When I say I’m about to raw dog ya, this is what I mean
Genius! Customer concern of a "whistling noise when in motion" I'm no tech, but it COULD very well be your friend that zip tied a fkn harmonica to the underside of your truck bro. Image: underside of a vehicle on a lift with a harmonica zip tied to it
If your friends wouldn’t do this then you might need new friends
ChatGPT told me you've been asking about some weird shit.
Hear me out: Snapple Jacks cereal
just dropped a can of whoopass on the floor. it's fucking everywhere. it's under the fridge
my dick is unionized
anyway I need to add that if you've enjoyed the death generator now or in the past, I could really use a ko-fi donation or patreon support. I'm recovering from medical issues at the moment while I look for a job, and it'd help a ton.
bsky.app/profile/foon...
Yea that was just WI dads saying dumb shit to their kids. I heard the same. We love to be included lol