30 years ago my dad said he was leaving to get cigarettes and never came back, frankly I still haven't recovered I really wanted those cigarettes
15.06.2025 18:43
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30 years ago my dad said he was leaving to get cigarettes and never came back, frankly I still haven't recovered I really wanted those cigarettes
So now we’re back to the idea that people who are alone must be that way because they’re bad. In my experience, the worst people I’ve ever met were masters at weaving webs of dependency and mutual obligation, and woe betide anyone who tried to slip free.
This candle smells like toast. Uh, oh…
The oven turned our pizza jet black, the water main broke, and my car got repossessed. All while we were watching Happy TV.
sorry I made you fall in love with me
after watching my magic tricks
I'll post dick pics when Bluesky goes 3D
Depression is my main squeeze, anxiety is my side piece.
“It’ll be fun!”
Lies, lies and more lies!!
classing up “junk in the trunk” and calling it “loot in the boot”
If I had a alt, I'd only tell you.
IT'S FINE, YOU CAN HAVE IT, I DON'T WANT IT. ONE LESS HOUR TO BE SAD ANYWAY.
one day is enough of a tolerance break right?
daylight savings time to post some hog
BREAKING: MEDIOCRE WHITE MEN HAVE OPINIONS ON WHAT WOMEN NEED! WE NEED EDUCATION AND A HUSBAND TO FUCK.
Even an amoeba moves away from pain
Everyone has one of those friends who’s the life of the party walking through walls
Just hit the button for rock bottomless.
We’ll keep the porch light on.
on this day exactly 25 years ago, I pointed at a beautiful woman across the street & said "that's the girl I'm gonna marry one day,” but it turned out to be a lamppost
You try to be a good neighbor but there's only so much not violating a psychic HOA rule against peeping minds for who might need to borrow sugar an empath can do
We can't rewind we've gone too far.
I once killed a man with one of my shitposts. That’s why I’ve been reluctant to get back in the game.
I can never walk past a sugar maple without saying I’d tap that
Testicular sounds like an app to help you get better at taking tests
Everyone wants Bluesky to let us edit our posts. Except me. I want to edit everyone else's posts.
I'd never be anywhere without you... and my car keys. You have my car keys.
Cuba?! Cuba?!?!
We haven’t even finished the War on Christmas!!!
Might start eating paste again.
When I drink during a full moon I turn into an unawarewolf
Just got your text from last night. Do you still need your Epipen
the first old person to put tennis balls on their walker was baller as hell