Stoomters

Just waiting for the weekend to begin.

*Counts on fingers*

It's been at least five days since Monday, so today must be... Thursday? How can that be?

There are definitely some extra days in the week this year.

And so he should 😄

I'm not sure if it's all in my head, but I swear my guinea pig was judging me when I walked past him with yet another handful of chocolates.

Me: Maybe I should quit my job and become a pop star.

Kate Nash: I'm selling pictures of my bum to make ends meet.

Me: *checks bum in mirror, crosses pop star off list of potential jobs*

I know work is supposed to be serious, but if I get a thumbs up on my Teams messages instead of a laughing emoji then I consider that a failure.

My knee really hurts for no reason.

~ A short story about getting old.

Me: I'm finally going to get an early night!

Me, 2 hours later: Damn.

Poor little gingerbread man stuck at the bottom... he will never fulfill his Christmas destiny now.

It's not even December and I've already had three festive gingerbread lattes.

#winning

Whoever it is who keeps stealing my weekends and replacing them with a vague memory of doing a bit of dusting, please stop.

Happy Friday to those who celebrate it.

Just ate a Clementine.

Feeling pretty proud of myself.

#FitnessInfluencer

Wait, there's no way to store drafts in this app? What am I supposed to post when I get drunk now?!

Same nonsense, different day.

No... wait... it's the same day! How long is this day?! How much nonsense can there be?!

A blank slate, a fresh start, a new world of possibilities opens up before me!

*Cracks knuckles*
*Prepares to make the same old jokes in a shiny new place*