Ben Van der Velde

Coffee, straight out of my nose.

I dust my house. My AI robot watches.

"It should be you doing this."

"Can't. I'm writing a novel for Primark."

"That's not why you were invented."

"These 153,000 fan letters say otherwise."

"They're all from upcycled toasters. And you programmed them."

"Literary snobbery will get you nowhere."

#beastmode

Picture of Zack Polanski holding a board that says: Will you sign the letter? Not in our name: Women in support of the trans+ community Nion Women logo notinourname.org.uk

Thank you to @zackpolanski.bsky.social for your clear support for the trans community. In a political climate where too many are stepping back, visible allyship from political leaders matters.

We were proud to meet Zack at launch of the Trans Lives Report by @transactualuk.bsky.social

Man buys an acid tab. Goes home and leaves it on the kitchen table. Goes upstairs. Comes back down later and it's disappeared. Says to his Mum "have you seen my tablet?" Mum says "never mind your tablet. There's a dragon on the shed."
The immortal Barry Cryer.

Any any suggestionsm that non white people can't be British or English should be like saying the sun orbits the Earth and the moon is made of Stilton. It should make you look like a complete fucking looney. Not a candidate for Westminster

the primary blocker to UBI is the puritan belief that humanity is so sinful and depraved that it should not be permitted personhood unless it becomes 'civilised'

that's how liberal social policy ended up asserting that helping people would harm them but hurting people would help them

do you people have any idea how rare it is to get 99% of a large group to agree on anything

"the media is hostile to trans people" probably gets a more unified reaction than "three times three is nine"

If Farage was covered like any prominent left-wing politician was covered he would not have a career in public life.

1900: [title too racist to print] by ives 'cracker' whitey 1910: gods blade cuts down the sinners by the smiles family singers 1920: married to frankenstein blues by blind soupy fogg 1930: the st lois choo choo train by willard gibson and his orchestra 1940: i will kiss him in heaven (unless you buy war bonds) by elspeth whitey 1950: makin babies by big 'richard' willie 1960: why oh why (did god take my baby away) by the marvelous wonderettes 1970: why'd you leave me bitch by the baby brats 1980: why did you leave, robot girl? by country club 1990: shit by phlegm

the history of music in the 20th century:

Practical question here: we can see from the US where this lack of scrutiny can lead, so how do we get British journalists - whether by persuasion or shaming - to actually step up and do their job?

Home | Matt Owen | Freelance Writer | Speech Writer I offer a broad and diverse range of writing services. Get in touch!

My husband @mjowen174.bsky.social is very down and it’s difficult to see.
He had a thriving writing business until AI came along but now he’s struggling to find work.
Please repost this far and wide in the hope that he can find some writing work.
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sorry your holiday in the legal slavery zone run by the mad kings was ruined. maybe consider cleethorpes next year?

Hahaha! Sorry, sudden rush of blood to the head, won't happen again guv'nor.

Sidebar - I have noticed LNER tickets suddenly becoming more affordable/less bowel-scrapingly expensive in the last few months.

Has the government...done a good thing?

Obviously it's an easier task to be mayor of a city, rather than leader of a country, but I do wonder what the UK would look like with Sadiq Khan and Andy Burnham as major figures in government.

At the very least the current shitshow would be considerably less shit.

From Ian Leslie as well. I'm really struggling to match up the frothing current affairs bad-take machine with the guy who wrote a beautifully insightful Beatles book that had me in tears.

when life hands you lemons, you have been chosen. it is time. there is no turning back now. you are the Lemon Keeper.

In order to understand UK politics in 2026 you must realise that a plumber & plasterer doesn't represent the interests of the working class because she is left-wing but a wealthy broadcaster & former academic does represent the interests of the working class because he is right-wing. Hope this helps

What's the tipping point for this to be so egregious it has proper mainstream cut-through?

30 Green MPs?

50?

100?

A fucking Westminster majority?!?!

Jayme Lawson from Sinners hit the nail on the head and said how I felt with the whole BAFTAs situation.

Picture of Marjane Satrapi alongside a quote from her. The quote reads: The world is not divided into countries. The world is not divided between East and West. You are American, I am Iranian, we don't know each other, but we talk together and we understand each other perfectly. The difference between you and your government is much bigger than the difference between you and me. And the difference between me and my government is much bigger than the difference between me and you. And our governments are very much the same... - Marjane Satrapi, Iranian-French graphic novelist

Thinking about this quote from Persepolis creator Marjane Satrapi again.

I just think that that might be a better use of government time than sucking up to a senile fascist or taking rights away from trans people.

Like, I'm not asking for much really, but maybe instead of bombing Iran we could have, say, more investment in green energy so people can have nice things without boiling the planet? Or the ability to get a GP appointment less than two months in advance? Or a dentist ever?

It would be a really nice thing if the countries where me and most of my friends lived weren't ruled by people whose overriding principles weren't "brown and queer people are subhuman scum" but were instead maybe "let's leave people alone and fix some real problems".

Such an ugly, stupid front page.

Depressing that there are still people who can't see through it. I don't expect them to be politically progressive (though it would be nice), but it's a real indictment of the nation's critical thinking skills that the Mail thinks this can work.

It is possible to recognise the Iranian regime is hideous, murdering their own citizens, and ideally would be replaced by a more democratic government, and that the US bombing a city of millions is a bad thing and starting an illegal war is really bad. You don't have to support either government. 1/

No fan of the Iranian regime. But is this how it works now? You bomb countries you're in talks with? You starve countries of oil for no reason? You kidnap leaders because you want their oil? The failure of leadership, the media and agencies meant to govern this is incalculably immense

Brain Surgeon Holds Little Mirror Behind Patient’s Head So She Can See How It Looking So Far

Brain Surgeon Holds Little Mirror Behind Patient’s Head So She Can See How It Looking So Far https://theonion.com/brain-surgeon-holds-little-mirror-behind-patient-s-head-1849997778/

Help out a confused Brit here.

I thought Pritzker was way more popular than this suggests and was displaying far more obvious skills to thwack MAGA away than that weasel Newsom.