Heidi Loves Dogs

*cries in ‘07 Mercedes sedan with an 18 gallon tank*

You know how you peel an orange and the skin can be difficult and there’s a bunch of pith and then there’s those icky orange boogers?

Fuck those oranges

No wonder that whole free love thing was so big. Everybody was disgustingly beautiful

I, uh, have a thing for them 70s boys

“Greg Lake, yer so fuckin beautiful that I’m gonna kick your ass for being prettier than me” I say to my TV as an Emerson, Lake and Palmer music video comes on

“C’MERE I WANNA PUT A CIGARETTE OUT ON YER NECK” i continue right as my roommate walks through the front door

Hey look at this good boy

I am officially starting positive reinforcement rattlesnake avoidance classes for dogs! I’m hoping to begin in April. Got a facility to do it in and everything!

Look at these big ass kitty feet

I love this curious lil’ guy

CHEESY PASTA BLISS HERE I COMES

My little gentleman Roy Ouroboroson in his box fort

Uh I may have to follow suit

Yep, perfection. No notes.

The orange I’m eating isnt ripe yet so I yelled “MEDIUM TALENT” at it

We should get relief checks fir having to endure the Trump administration à la COVID

Looney Tunes led me to believe that there were a lot more anvils just lying in wait to drop on bad guys than there actually are and I’m very disappointed

An ICE agent shot and killed Ruben Ray Martinez, a US citizen and San Antonio resident, in March 2025. Then ICE and the Texas Department of Public Safety covered it up. He was 23 years old. I am calling for a full investigation into this shooting, including why there was an 8-month cover up.

The dirt-goblin behind this account

It’s President’s Day! Please remember to leave your President on the curb for trash pick up once he’s dried out to prevent house fires. If your President is Republican, it is recommended that you put him in the wood chipper.

It’s VERY HARD

Yeah sure. The next moment she’ll be dropping an anvil on my head and saying “ain’t I a stinker”

The German shepherd I’m sitting is so done with my shit

I’m being honorably discharged from ICE today because I have terminal Havana syndrome. Next time I kidnap a 5 yr old it’ll be from that big Chevy Tahoe in the sky

Don’t mind me, I’m shaming a rabbit for escaping her pen

Happy Valentines Day! I’ve already been claimed by this here puppy. You’ll have to fight her for me.

…yes there was a lot of spitting and sputtering after this.

a close up of a frog looking out of a hole ALT: a close up of a frog looking out of a hole

Once WWIII clears humanity out I think the next phase of earth should be ruled exclusively by squeaky little frogs with grumpy faces.

A sandy lil’ Scottie dog

How the Hell does he telescope his legs like that?

I wear my sunglasses at night
So I can
So I can
SEE WITH ALL YOUR SHITTY LED HEADLIGHTS IN MY FUCKING EYES

A black and white graphic calling for a national strike on Friday January 30, 2026

General Strike this Friday January 30

Justice for our Los Angeles neighbor, Keith Porter Jr, whose murderer was an ICE agent yet to be identified or arrested.