Big Matt

My wife has been watching way too many true crime documentaries

Scrubs, Ted Lasso, Kitchen Confidential, The Wire, The Sopranos, The Pitt, The Adventures of Pete and Pete, House, The Boys, Reacher, Chernobyl, Sherlock, Firefly, Freaks and Geeks, Undeclared, The Bear, Parks & Rec, The Newsroom, Andor, 30 Rock, Community

When I see a pickup truck with a gun sticker that says “come and take it,” I assume they are talking about their virginity.

They call me Black Marshmallow

I love Springsteen, but over $400 for behind the stage? Over $800 for one seat in the nosebleeds? Nah bro.

I could have sworn there was a Thoreau quote about believing what you believe with all your heart, but being open to changing your mind if new evidence is provided. But now I can’t find the quote anywhere! Did I mix it up in my memory, or was it actually written by someone else?

I got Cake and Cracker confused today and it really pissed me off.

I don’t want to sound like an ass hole, but I saw that Wuthering Heights spent $85 million on marketing and I have not seen a single ad. Where are they advertising? I mean, I know I’m not the target demo, but still.

I don’t think Steve Martin does anything wrong in Father of the Bride. Maybe a little overreaction at the beginning, but that’s about it.

Why do Disney+ commercials pop up at the most awkward times?

I’ll be honest, I’m more excited for re-releases like Citizen Kane, The Silence of the Lambs, Ben-Hur and The Birdcage than I am for most of the new movies coming out this summer. I mean, I’ll probably go see the new Spider-Man, The Odyssey, Mandalorian & Grogu, Project Hail Mary; not much else.

The news is so sad I need a distraction. Watched The Smashing Machine last night and loved it. Need a decent movie to watch tonight.

Every Democrat who votes this week to fund DHS and ICE should be voted out of office. Period. This has to be the line in the sand.

Watching “The Smashing Machine” makes me wish I still watched UFC, but nah, fuck that right wing redneck bullshit.

Why do the chefs look nervous when Guy tries their food on Triple D? I’ve never heard him give a bad review.

Oh no, Rock the Country and its zero bands I want to see isn’t coming back to my town!

Anyone who goes to see Melania in theaters is a toolbox

I figure I can watch about a half dozen more 2025 movies this week so I can complete my best of the year list. I need to see One Battle After Another, Weapons, The Smashing Machine and a few more. Maybe Rental Family, Companion, Marty Supreme and Roofman.

The original. Played at my in-laws house, first time playing. Went from Vancouver to Montreal the long way through Texas. Liked it so much I ordered my own.

Played TTR three times yesterday!

This is a super easy Elf on the Shelf plan. All you need is some salt, some pepper, a note card, a balloon, and… shut the fuck up. I am gonna eat a piece of candy and leave the wrapper next to the elf. The end. Dad of the year.

Well this sucks

I do not care for Inch & Co

I can pretend to be bought for $2000

Next time I’m driving down the Jersey Turnpike I’ll have to stop at the Walt Whitman/Donald Trump Combination Roy Rogers and Long John Silver Rest Stop and Gift Shop.

So we can agree the Kennedy Center is a joke now.

Just beat my 5 year old via first period tech fall 19-4. The old man has still got it.

It’s Friday!

What if Taylor Swift’s shitty new album was a setup? She just wanted people who had her at the top of their Spotify year end lists to look bad.

I hope someone draws this wonderful story about Tom Stoppard's Arcadia and the power of the arts to help us see things differently, to the attention of our Education Secretary. Do read it, it will lift your spirits.