Græme

RATZ 🐀🩷

Every time I listen to Slayyyter I get one step closer to wanting huge silicone tits

What the fuck do you mean tomorrow's hotter than today? Today was already too hot!

Ways to make yourself appear cooler
1. Stop putting songs on your Instagram posts/stories that automatically pause my music to play just the chorus of a song

That's it, that's the list

Baking a rhubarb and custard tart on company time is how I get my own back

Yes which much mean something sinister is in the air out to get us all

Going to have one of the giant African pouched rats, who sniff out landmines in Cambodia, be the ring bearer at my wedding

It's bank holiday weekend, it's raining and I've got no real plans apart from baking a strawberry tart 🍓

Don't be rude and let them lick your head!

Saw a rat. Day made

I fucked up my pie crust don't talk to me

Asked for some tap water for the table at lunch and got charged £3.75 for it. That water better have been bottled tears from Jesus Christ himself or so help me god!

Rubbed my eyes, mouth and balls after chopping chillis and I don't know which one is worse

They're done so dirty and misunderstood. I'll always have a soft spot for them

You're going to look me dead in the eye and tell me this shining model is vermin? She's gorgeous! 🐦

The "Reward" is some scrapings of black mould from her living room

Testing to see how much facial hair I can actually grow so if you see my pubey face in person mind your business

Face of a boy who's got a sore tummy and couldn't go into work

The woman at the Chinese restaurant said I could be a model. Me? Linda Evangelista? More likely than you'd think

It's the fact she's smiling as well

The cutest family photo🧑🏻‍🦰🐐👱🏻‍♀️

I hope the lesbians from 'For Women Scotland' cheering at the supreme court result know that it won't stop with trans people.

German is a crazy language because what do you mean "taube Taube" means deaf pigeon

Grew it myself

I’m obsessed with her. 💖

If the DJ isn't playing earth song by Michael Jackson then I'm going home

That's all I need to convince me

Do we get rid of our spare bed to make room for a degu cage?

Me or jesus because either one yes

Good luck I've been trying for the last two years. They're all for the cashews but god forbid I ask them nicely to come rest of my shoulder.