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Kelley Greene

@kelleygreene

Writer, satirist, chronically online. Currently @ Buzzfeed. Work in The Hard Times, Hard Drive, Weekly Humorist, The Belladonna Comedy, Slackjaw, etc. New Substack post every Friday (TMI - Too Much Internet). https://linktr.ee/kelleygreene

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06.08.2023
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Latest posts by Kelley Greene @kelleygreene

oh yes. good. perfect, even

07.03.2026 05:40 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

why is spotify so hell bent on showing me videos now

06.03.2026 18:57 πŸ‘ 3 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

there are no words to describe the feeling of nostalgic calm that washed over me as i listened to the scrubs theme song for the first time in 15 years

02.03.2026 00:56 πŸ‘ 10 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

plot twist: he's solar powered

27.02.2026 21:13 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

looking forward to the vid of him and the liver king doing push ups in the sauna

27.02.2026 17:39 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

everyone keeps saying how bad apple's search is now and i searched "spotify" on my computer and it brought up a ton of unrelated stuff and i was like MY GOD IT'S SO BAD WOW AWFUL TERRIBLE and then i realized i forgot to install it when i wiped my computer 2 wks ago. okay that one's on me i guess

27.02.2026 14:54 πŸ‘ 3 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

hey i did a unicycle class last year and i didn't even break anything (do not ask about the bruises)

16.02.2026 20:35 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
Preview
It Follows Internet round-up for the week of January 19, 2026

talkin' bryan johnson, lego shoes, and cows over on the substack this week

24.01.2026 00:03 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
Sunglasses-clad Emanuel Macron

Sunglasses-clad Emanuel Macron

if i send you this it means for shurr

23.01.2026 04:04 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
Ser Duncan the Tall in a crowd

Ser Duncan the Tall in a crowd

the guy i always end up standing behind at concerts

22.01.2026 03:46 πŸ‘ 11 πŸ” 2 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

It’s so wild!!!

17.01.2026 21:50 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

We ended up getting a grippy device thing and it still doesn’t even work all the time!!

17.01.2026 21:49 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

am i just old or is every lid 4000 times tighter these days

17.01.2026 21:08 πŸ‘ 3 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 2 πŸ“Œ 0

no clue!!

16.01.2026 15:56 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
nicole kidman "i'm free" meme

nicole kidman "i'm free" meme

twitter down this morning

16.01.2026 15:51 πŸ‘ 9 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0
Preview
Another Bryan Johnson Update w/ Kelley Greene | Culture Dumpster Get more from Culture Dumpster on Patreon

@kelleygreene.bsky.social is back for another episode of the Boner Tabulator Files to discuss her Roman Empire, form tech exec and man seeking immortality, Bryan Johnson.

09.01.2026 15:17 πŸ‘ 5 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 1

Sorry but Rob Rausch was built for this shit #traitors

09.01.2026 05:04 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

πŸ’―

08.01.2026 18:41 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

if we survive the next 3 years of trump, i WILL NOT SETTLE for a moderate. i want medicare for all. i want trans folks protected. and i want all of these fuckers prosecuted

08.01.2026 18:27 πŸ‘ 10 πŸ” 3 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

The β€œprosecute the former regime at every level” candidate has my vote in 2028.

07.01.2026 20:26 πŸ‘ 86942 πŸ” 21348 πŸ’¬ 1613 πŸ“Œ 1510

That’s gotta be what it is

06.01.2026 23:57 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
Threads has taken down my post that says "nobody can tempt me with turkish delight but i'd get into ted bundy's van for a crunchwrap"

Threads has taken down my post that says "nobody can tempt me with turkish delight but i'd get into ted bundy's van for a crunchwrap"

it's going great on threads

06.01.2026 22:45 πŸ‘ 11 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

i forgot the word "tortilla" and called it a burrito skin

06.01.2026 22:42 πŸ‘ 5 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

chicago's first-tuesday-at-10-am tornado siren test about had me jumping out of my skin this morning

06.01.2026 16:01 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0
Preview
"Bryan Johnson: Boner Tabulator" W/ Kelley Greene | Culture Dumpster Get more from Culture Dumpster on Patreon

The hilarious @kelleygreene.bsky.social will be joining the show this week for another Bryan Johnson: Boner Tabulator update.

06.01.2026 02:31 πŸ‘ 5 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 1
A old advert that has the words What the heck is Electronic Mail? With a man looking very scared by a sparkling trail flying around his desk

A old advert that has the words What the heck is Electronic Mail? With a man looking very scared by a sparkling trail flying around his desk

The first two hours this morning

05.01.2026 11:21 πŸ‘ 6690 πŸ” 1372 πŸ’¬ 37 πŸ“Œ 52

work laptop freezing up first thing this morning...it's not ready to come back from the holiday either

05.01.2026 16:10 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
Preview
Myelinated Fibers Internet round-up for the week of December 29, 2025

come for the pop-tarts, stay for the weird billionaires

02.01.2026 23:13 πŸ‘ 5 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
Post image Post image

Come for the Anderson Cooper giggles, stay for the Harry Enten in Bluey pants and chaps #cnnnye

01.01.2026 05:52 πŸ‘ 4 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

Oooooo interesting

01.01.2026 01:49 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0