Brendan Parry Kaufmann's Avatar

Brendan Parry Kaufmann

@bpkaufmann

Audible Shape. Semi-Ambulatory Cheese Disposal System. Actor/Writer/Director/Producer/Cat-Wrangler. No DMs unless I know you IRL. FFS. πŸ‡¦πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¦πŸ‡¬πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡¨πŸ‡¦πŸ‡¬πŸ‡±πŸ‡©πŸ‡°πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆπŸ–€πŸ’›β€οΈ

2,011
Followers
2,550
Following
3,368
Posts
06.07.2023
Joined
Posts Following

Latest posts by Brendan Parry Kaufmann @bpkaufmann

Why the US military hasn't mutinied yet, and hung this incompetent, corrupt, disrespectful and diseased sack of shit upside-down from a lamp-post - along with his cabinet, his cronies and his entire feckless family - remains an enduring mystery.

08.03.2026 23:26 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

{...fade up spooky bass guitar line...}

I give you:

"Bela Lugosi's Dog"

...by Bow Wow Haus.

....

....

....I'll see myself out.

08.03.2026 23:22 πŸ‘ 4 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

He's such an irredeemably, relentlessly, foul sack of shit.

08.03.2026 06:57 πŸ‘ 3 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Yeah. I was so surprised, my monocle popped out and my top hat flew off, like an old-timey cartoon swell.

08.03.2026 01:45 πŸ‘ 3 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Take your idiotic baseball cap off, you disrespectful fat rapist cunt.

08.03.2026 00:09 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Bastards.

I've never wanted to see Air Force One shot out of the sky more.

07.03.2026 23:47 πŸ‘ 25 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Yes, I *know* the quote is actually from Henry IV Pt.2.

Eat me.

07.03.2026 23:21 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Hal: "I know thee not, Old Man."

Falstaff: "FUCK YOU KID, I HAVE A GIANT SAUSAGE AND A PINT MUG I STOLE FROM THE SLUG AND LETTUCE"

07.03.2026 23:19 πŸ‘ 3 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

I'll give him a pass on not learning a new language, if the necrotic old rapist fool is sincere in his promise to be hellbound soon.

07.03.2026 22:18 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

You know, I was wrong about this guy. I just thought he was a mouthy, incompetent sex-pest drunk.

Now I see that he's actually certifiable.

07.03.2026 06:09 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

AND. THIS. IS. WHY. WE. STUDY. HISTORY.

FUCK'S. SAKE.

06.03.2026 22:21 πŸ‘ 6 πŸ” 3 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

..."with passion"??

Christ, he's a loon.

06.03.2026 21:37 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

I loved your scholarly explanation for their colouring, because I'd just be pointing at the thing shrieking "IT HAS COME, AS FORETOLD IN THE PROPHECY"

06.03.2026 21:35 πŸ‘ 6 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

Markwayne Mullin - a man so stupid, he has to shit on all fours.

06.03.2026 02:12 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Reported. What a fucking jackass.

06.03.2026 00:54 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Big fan of both.

04.03.2026 22:38 πŸ‘ 5 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Hammered the dog-killer into the ground like a tent peg.

04.03.2026 21:27 πŸ‘ 3 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

So, "Chekhov's Chimpanzee" - but mysteriously unresolved.

I'm so in.

04.03.2026 21:24 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Can confirm. Amazing stuff.

04.03.2026 05:02 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

"Hey-yo!!", as the kids say.

04.03.2026 03:08 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Seth.

04.03.2026 02:59 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

Overland routes to the Gulf are fairly limited, for truck traffic (although that may be the only choice) - rail isn't an option, in most cases. Another issue is if food deliveries aren't brought in by sea, land transport is much more expensive - prices will rise, which means unrest in Gulf States.

04.03.2026 02:32 πŸ‘ 7 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

No lie detected.

04.03.2026 02:14 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
Preview
a cartoon of a man saying " and one more thing i never once washed my hands that 's your policy " ALT: a cartoon of a man saying " and one more thing i never once washed my hands that 's your policy "

Can't imagine why I thought of this...

04.03.2026 00:37 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

That's right, Billy - I'm clearly hallucinating all of the thunderously noisy bands I've been seeing these last few months in Melbourne's live music venues, because the CIA something something something...

...you absolute fucking spanner.

04.03.2026 00:33 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Stop whining Sam, fuck's sake...

03.03.2026 22:10 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Bingo.

03.03.2026 21:35 πŸ‘ 5 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

What she said.

03.03.2026 12:24 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Whatever the fuck that thing he's wearing is, it makes him look like a Goth Sealy Posturepedic mattress.

03.03.2026 12:22 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Markwayne Mullin.

A man so irredeemably stupid, he has to shit on all fours.

03.03.2026 03:24 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0