Matt

Exactly

I did that crash! Me! Some people are saying it's the biggest crash ever. The GREATEST depression

This is guy is basically the American Dominic Cummings.

Some interesting ideas and some powerful insights, all baked into a giant shit pie and served whole.

Historians however are all "wait I get to watch live coverage of the fall of Rome 24/7 in Ultra HD? Awesome!"

Absolutely tired of the psychodrama of one country being the problem of the entire planet.

Also note borders change fairly frequently, and are a relatively modern invention - whereas cultures have existed as long as humans, and last (or strengthen) even when their people are forced to leave their homes.

My least favourite people in the world are minorities who are against their own minority.

See also Priti Patel desperate to get rid of immigrants.

Bitch please

The word "sinister" comes from the Latin sinistre, meaning left.

Left handed people gave us a word with their freakish devilry.

Lucky there's only 3% of them or we'd be in trouble

Where do we go from here?
The words are coming out all weird.
Are we really sinking
This low?

These people make me so ashamed to be British

Directly opposite a hotel being used to house asylum seekers

Pensioners and skinheads definitely don't like the forriners

lol, from UK satirical magazine Private Eye

And also something that seemingly 70-80% of Americans lack: a quality education

Is Dionysus already taken? If not, dibs.

I'm gonna be honest, eBay. I don't think you actually know everything I am looking for.

Oh my days now I've got the Tetris song stuck in my head for the next week

I sometimes wonder if great artists look at their works and despair.

Did Michaelangelo gaze upon David and think "ciao che bella grazie mille vaffanculo?" (Italian for "will i ever achieve such heights again?")

And do you sit alone at night, weeping and quietly singing "dunna dun dun Tetris song"

I'm an absolute beast at clearing that first map stage. Done it so many times.

The second one? Not so much.

Wait, third one? There's a third one?!?

"what?" He seemed to say

Careful. If you do anything to hurt him he gets first strike and trample, and if you actually kill it it nukes your town.

Sad to report further indisputable signs of the coming apocalypse: in the last week I have opened a #Lego set and an #IKEA flatpack, and BOTH have had a tiny but important piece missing.

Unheard of in recorded human history.

The 2025 version of rivers of blood? Many are saying yes.

I love that Pictionary is now a daily TV show.

Pictionary has existed since I was a child, and I'm 45.

I guess the execs at ITV have been spitballing it for decades but decided that it was too edgy and controversial, but finally decided 2025 was the year the people were ready for it.

Oh man I'm trying to remember the guys name...

Bernie Bernbaum!

Might watch that again soon

Yeah they're real. I saw them play for the college of south North Dakota in Florida.

An M dwarf star with the text: "I am not a toy. I am not a Christmas present. I am a 10 trillion year commitment"

Think twice before gifting someone an M dwarf this holiday season

Do you only have a fillet of charc? Or do you eat the charc whole?

Yeah if you do -48 do you get to the chocolate river and the everlasting gobstopper rooms?

You can

You just need a bigger spatula

A really heckin massive one to give you a reach advantage

In first class, they also have a flush!

"One of the great tragedies of mankind is that morality has been hijacked by religion. So now people assume that religion and morality have a necessary connection. But the basis of morality is really very simple and doesn't require religion at all."

Arthur C. Clarke

With respect, dismissing people as monsters is a shit cop out

He's not some fucking "cursed by nature to be this way whyyyy" creature from fiction

He's a man
Who made choices
Over years
Again and again

me: [carefully placing a baby on my boss’s desk]
my boss: and the other one
me: [pauses, then unstraps an ankle holster that cradles a smaller, but just as deadly baby]