Jamil

I’ll hear strange noises in sky and just hope that it’s not first contact for the strike.

I packed my homemade corn salsa, a bag of sharp cheddar cheese, Doritos taco shells, and mumbo sauce. I got to the office to realize that I grabbed the stuffed pepper soup instead of the slow cooked flank steak. SFPWM

I’m really enjoying this read. Knowing the source material, I’m bracing for the tragedy

I can’t wait to tussle with the margarita demon on warm nights this summer

We’re at that time of year where we experience bipolar cold snaps immediately succeeded by aspiring - albeit prepubescent - heat waves. Spring is coming!

Just saw a Dominican man with his knee cut skinny jeans. That’s the hoods groundhog, the winter is done for.

Is the congregation gathering for DC black pride again this year?

That season affective disorder lost a lot of grip today. It’s giving serotonin. It’s giving spring

"Home of the brave, land of the FEE"

She is me. I am she.

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I’ve seen “Meowjuana” but I’ve never seen kitten blunts.

I hate when I have to shit right after taking a shower. Like damn, my bowels couldn’t think to move before I finished wetting the whistle?

If I say that something is inexpensive, that means that I perceive it to be worth more than what it’s being offered for. If I call something cheap, that’s a statement about what I perceive to be of poor quality.

A spicy Italian sandwich and I have a scandalous love affair

I’d like to never see this caption again, thanks

Olympic athletes retiring at 28 while a slippery shower is a direct threat to 1/3 of the U.S. legislative body.

As for Dragon Ball Z, Frieza always resonated with me.

Pull up in a Sri Lanka, what?

Do a jumping jack so that I can see you

You need that? = Can I slide my dick down your throat while you keep your tongue on my balls?

Yes. There’s a very specific scent that I pick up with sick people sneeze. Red velvet taste like that inside of latex

Red velvet tastes like somebody sneezed into a condom

Whoever convinced you all that something being natural means that it is superior needs to be stoned. “Well back in the day…” back in the day the lifespan was 43 and people were dying from the flu. History is not a metric for good. Listen to scientific consensus, PLEASE.

Blaming sexual assault victims as women that lead a man on or deserved it because of what she was wearing literally divorces men from all culpability of our own actions. It’s learned helplessness and reinforces that men are victims of ourselves, not deciders of our actions.

I can hear Wendy Williams saying this this exact way

These boys (I’d say 12) were on the metro wrestling, and I reflexively yelled for them to “Sat down somewhere!” And they did. Let me start hosting Thanksgiving, I’ve entered BIG UNC.

Generally speaking men are not socialized for community, We’re socialized to view things through the lens of masculinity which on its face is the rejection of empathy. Women are socialized to communicate and problem solve which aids community. Gays are forced to find community because of rejection.

This is America

Some of you only shower when you plan on having sex, and I can smell that you haven’t been fucking.

Most of my relatives die between 88 and 105. Bro I gotta do this shit for another 54-71 years?

I’m only watching the halftime to stand in solidarity with Disgruntled Rabbit, after that I’m changing the channel.