Logged back in to bsky for the first time in months just for this lol ❤️

Thanks for reading the rambling. I hope it’s coherent enough!

Anyways, don’t worry too much about me. I’m finding new hobbies, friends, and joy in my life. It’s been a hard process, but I’m slowly filling in that emptiness in my life. I have no other choice but to love myself, others who love me, and love those who are the most important to me.

It was beautiful getting to know the people in the seats around you, knowing they’d be there most weeks. Now, it’s becoming the shitty American norm of just selling tickets to any interested customer, with no thoughts paid to anything else.

I miss feeling apart of a community. I miss feeling apart of a wave of change. I miss having a good time on most Saturday nights. I miss seeing friendships and families blossom week to week, season to season.

I’m hopeful some lower level leagues could force change from the bottom. Just anything to challenge the status quo we’re seeing solidify in American soccer.

The pandemic really fucked things up across the board, and I feel this is another victim. We were all stuck at home while those with power were making moves with less objection. Temporary changes became permanent. We’re all still a little fucked up from all the isolation and being taken advantage of

Seeing it grow while hanging on to its uniquely international qualities and just trying to fit in to the rest of the world was awesome. But now, MLS truly seems like it’s committed to becoming the 5th major American sports league rather than looking outward to be a major international league.

It was, for a while! SGs would protest in the stadium to encourage accountability and push back against leagues/clubs trying to claw more out of the supporters, effectively!American soccer didn’t try to imprint itself on the game, we just played the game everybody else in the world was playing.

I fell out of love with OSU Beavers sports, NFL, and NHL for just seeing the pattern of growth at all costs. Yay capitalism 🙃 I felt American soccer could be a breath of fresh air.

Even worse, it feels like the rest of the world is trying to more emulate us. European super leagues, Anglicization of some leagues, and changes to make the game more artificially exciting (no away goals, more PK shootouts, just more games and competitions) is infecting the game abroad.

The latest realizations I’m having is that these clubs gave me some hope that soccer could actually bring an alternative sports culture to the USA. For me, that hope feels lost. Seeing the game grow is great, but it’s just growing into just another American sport.

Apologies in advance that this account is turning into “David coping with less PTFC in his life therapy” but with all the journaling and convos with others, I like to check my work.

I wish they had a no-commentary option! Also, I wish the field sound mics were still tv broadcast quality when listening to the radio feed option.

$20M verdict: Portland Timbers’ doctor covered up botched surgery that ended goalie’s career A Multnomah County jury awarded $20.6 million to former Major League Soccer goalkeeper Jake Gleeson.

If I wasn’t sick rn, I’d be on my way to Stickmen in Lake O to see if there’s an open bar. www.oregonlive.com/timbers/2025...

HEINEKEN? FUCK THAT SHIT! PABST BLUE RIBBON!

Has anybody else felt super depressed on match-days recently? (not because we suck at soccer lol)

If you wanna chat about it, slide into my DMs or text me bc I’d love to work through these feelings a bit.

landing on the discover tab is like if the stadium fan cam locked onto you for a solid couple of hours and everybody else in the stadium walked over to you to tell you about their dietary restrictions

I’m not sure. I’m wearing my birthday suit on my placeholder onlyfans tho haha

If you’ve made it this far, here’s a walrus I saw today, making silly noises.

So hmu if you ever want to chill :) I’ve now learned reaching out and initiating is one of my biggest green flags.

Anyways, in the most genuine and caring way possible: go touch some grass ❤️ We’ll all gather here when we all need to talk about something together, but we all need to go live our lives irl tbh lol

I’ve tried to give myself a lot of grace and forgiveness whenever I get into one of those spirals and have felt some growth. Black and white accessibility filters help soooo much. It’s shocking effective pretty colors are.

These places are so well designed to keep your eyeballs welded to your phones, and I still get sucked in often. It’s been quite an effort trying to shift habits and not mash the dopamine button in my brain until I’m a complete, overstimulated mess.

This may end up being super hypocritical, but I feel like so many of my social networks recently have fallen off the wayside (Reddit, twitter, insta, etc.) so I’ve really tried just being on social media less. It’s been good, kinda!

Hello! I’m not sure how much I’ll be here, but wanted to put up a placeholder profile :)