The year is 2001, you’re a US American citizen and cannot believe the dumbest man in the world is taking you to war in the Middle East
The year is 2026, you’re a US American citizen and cannot believe you were wrong; there is in fact a dumber man
it’s weird when people say sports and politics are two different things that should be kept separate when Taiwan literally isn’t allowed to compete under it’s own name #ChineseTaipei
they’re doing oral arguments on birthright citizenship on april fools day…and it means nothing but feels ✨ominous✨
if there are no ethical billionaires, trillionaires ought to be shot for crimes against humanity res ipsa loquitur
sometimes the boyfriend will be like “somethingsomething networking!” and i’m reminded he’s a real life social adult and i have zero clue why he picked a literal hobgoblin introvert to date
it’s been a minute since i’ve actually watch a video of Trump at a rally (bc in 2026 i’ve decided to love myself a little more) and oh golly, his face color really doesn’t match the rest of his skin at all. it’s impressively mask-like. like astonishingly orange.
republicans really be like “americans don’t need healthcare if ICE just shoots them all”
the president of the united states is a fucking terrorist and is unilaterally bombing a foreign country from his fucking golf club bc he’s also a dumb fucking megalomaniac
the president is acting illegally, but he’s our president. the united states is a terrorist nation.
no i want to be clear. yes trump is attacking caracas unilaterally without congressional approval, yes the united states hasnt officially declared war on venezuela…but the united states is bombing venezuela. saying, it’s not the US, it’s trump, is eschewing responsibility we all fucking have in this
takes a republican to demand less healthcare for women in exchange for not raising health insurance premiums 🙄 oh you want affordable healthcare? what about no healthcare instead
sometimes i think about how in an alt universe president liz warren, in her second term, has solved late stage capitalism and it makes me said im stuck in this timeline instead
Update: Civil War cancelled due to shooter being demographically uncooperative
update: he’s confirmed dead
i don’t know why everyone is acting upset Charlie Kirk got shot. He literally said gun deaths are worth it to protect the Second Amendment. He died (not confirmed) doing what he loved: defending the guns. And isn’t that what we should hope for everyone; that they go pursuing their passion?
The year is 2028. The election is canceled. Trump is declared supreme ruler of the United States of America (renamed the One Big Beautiful State of Trump). The pundits are all blindsided. A thousand thinkpieces emerge “How could we know Trump was going to do the thing he repeatedly said he would do”
prepositions are so weird. for example, you ride IN a car but you ride ON a bus. Donald Trump is ON the White House roof and IN the Epstein Files
me at work today sending my stupid little emails like “hi just circling back….ARE YOU AWARE TRUMP IS GOING TO CUT 17 MILLION PEOPLE OFF THEIR HEALTH INSURANCE AND INCREASE THE NATIONAL DEFICIT BY 4 TRILLION DOLLARS ALL SO HE CAN GIVE THE RICHEST PEOPLE ON EARTH A BIGGER TAX CUT??????????”
everyone accusing Dems of being “vote blue no matter who” are about to be proven wrong. it’s not “vote blue no matter who.” apparently it’s “vote blue unless blue is a muslim brown man then vote for the corrupt sexual predator running as an independent spoiler bc he doesn’t get the concept of no”
the heat is a ESTABLISHMENT plot to keep the PEOPLE from voting so Cuomo wins. Even Trump knows Democrats obviously control the weather. Stick it to the EsablishmentDems by getting out to vote for Mamdani today
GOING TO WAR WITH IRAN IS NOT BAD BC TRUMP DIDNT HAVE CONGRESSIONAL APPROVAL. GOING TO WAR WITH IRAN IS BAD BC BOMBING A COUNTRY WE ARE NOT CURRENTLY AT WAR WITH BC BEBE MADE SOME UNCORROBORATED ASSERTIONS (that your own intelligence agencies say are bullshit) THAT IRAN HAS NUKES, IS FUCKING BAD
AIPAC being like “we must stand with our ally…to protect its families”
Fucking Why. They fucking started it. You excuse an ongoing genocide for a year and a half under the guise of “israel has a right to defend itself” well then so does fucking Iran.
it is very clear israel is that little kid on the playground who picks fights they know they can’t win only bc they know they have the worlds largest military budget standing behind them
it’s incredible. i want everyone to read it. its just hard to sell people on a book that’s almost 900 pages long. like, i had one person fully tell me that that was abnormal and no book should be that long 🙄
i need NYC to get its shit together and not vote for Cuomo in this primary
bc Cuomo is a sexually abusive corrupt mini Trump, but i think he’s still better than Eric Adams. And i believe in voting for the lesser of two evils but if I have to vote for Cuomo in the general imma be real bitter
young conservatives thinking it’s “harder to come out as conservative than gay in nyc” are both self-victimizing and homophobic, but at least they’re good at multitasking
you ever think about how much the MAGA right seems to look down on white people? like they hate minorities and think they are useless meritless hacks. and yet, they also seem to think white people are so weak they cannot compete with minorities unless they are give special government treatment
can i answer yes (but as under 30)? 🥺
i know brendan fraser is an actor and has many accomplishments and awards and such, but to me, his seminal and most important work will always be the narrator for the dragon rider audiobook by cornelia funke
